‘Foreign Exchange’
Season 4, Episode 24 - Aired May 6, 1989
On the 100th episode of The Golden Girls, two of Sophia's oldest friends visit and announce that their daughter and Dorothy may have been switched at birth. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose join a dance class.
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Hi, girls.
Blanche: This is not what it looks like.
Sophia: What they do is their business, but if I ever see your hand on Rose's behind it'll kill me.
Quote from Blanche
Rose: I'm really looking forward to dance class today.
Blanche: I can see that. You're wearing your heat-seeking stretch pants.
Quote from Blanche
Rose: Blanche, you're not dressed for class.
Blanche: That's because I'm not going.
Rose: Why not?
Blanche: Why not? I will tell you why not. Because I cannot flounce around a dance floor like some cheap trashy slut in heat. Lord knows, I've tried.
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: Oh, thank heaven this'll all be settled tomorrow. Thanks, Ma. Oh, I love you, Ma. Ma! Ma?
Sophia: Are you talking to me?
Quote from Sophia
Dorothy: How about a cup of tea, Ma? Hm?
Sophia: Good idea, pussycat.
Dorothy: Ma, you never thought I wasn't your daughter, did you?
Sophia: Of course not.
Dorothy: Because if you wanna check the results-
Sophia: Oh, don't talk crazy. Go in and make the tea. I'll be right in.
Dorothy: [returning] What have you got there?
Sophia: Nothing.
Dorothy: Ma, when you said you forgot your keys and you went back into the waiting room, you got the results of the test, didn't you?
Sophia: What if I did?
Dorothy: Let me see the lab results, Ma.
Sophia: Mrs. Petrillo to you.
Dorothy: Then I'm not your daughter.
Sophia: Got you, Dorothy! It was just a shopping list. You have absolutely no sense of humor. Just like your uncle Vito. At least, I think he was your uncle Vito. Kidding. Just kidding.
Quote from Blanche
Blanche: Come on, Rose. You know you like dancing.
Rose: I like square-dancing.
Blanche: This is just like square-dancing.
Rose: All right, count me in.
Blanche: Oh, great. Just one thing. When you do-si-do, your legs are wrapped around your partner's neck.
Quote from Rose
Blanche: Rose, how about you? You wanna learn dirty-dancing?
Rose: I don't know. For some odd reason, dirty-dancing always sounds... dirty.
Quote from Rose
Sophia: Oh, look. It's a letter from my friends Philomena and Dominic Bosco back in Sicily.
Dorothy: Oh.
Sophia: They're visiting Miami with their daughter Gina.
Blanche: Who are they?
Dorothy: Oh, well, Gina and I were born within minutes of each other at the same hospital in Brooklyn. That's when Ma became friendly with Philomena, before the family moved back to Sicily.
Rose: Will the Boscos be staying with us, Sophia?
Sophia: Unless there's a bidding war with the neighbors.
Rose: Well, even if we lose, at least they'll be close by.
Quote from Rose
Sophia, Dominic and Philomena: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Dorothy: Oh, this is such a warm, wonderful moment.
Rose: Oh, I just wish I spoke Italian so I'd know what they were saying.
Quote from Sophia
Dominic: So good to see you, Sophia. So good to see... Oh! And this must be Dorotea. You know, you probably don't even remember, but over 50 years ago I held you naked in my arms.
Sophia: And you peed on his suit.
Philomena: It's OK. Look. You can hardly see it anymore.