Rose: Did Stan ever get you a mink coat?
Sophia: Stan wouldn't get a popcorn at the movies.

Dorothy: You know, I always wanted mink. I thought I would look elegant and impressive.
Sophia: We didn't have mink in Sicily. To impress someone, you shot their brother.

Blanche: How did this happen to me? How? How?
Rose: What, Blanche?
Blanche: Oh, my God.
Dorothy: Blanche, please, tell us what's wrong.
Rose: We're your friends, honey. Nothing's so terrible that we wouldn't understand. You can tell us. What is it?
Blanche: I'm pregnant.
[Rose passes out]

Sophia: What shocking news?
Rose: Blanche is pregnant.
Sophia: Holy cow.
Dorothy: Blanche, are you sure?
Blanche: I did a home pregnancy test. It's right here.
Rose: It looks like a perfume sample.
Dorothy: Put it behind your ears, Rose.

Dorothy: Blanche, who's the father?
Blanche: The father? Gee, I don't know.
Dorothy: Well, you'd better figure it out. When was your fertile period?
Blanche: I'm nine weeks late, it would have been two weeks before, so 11 weeks ago.
Dorothy: Nine weeks late and you just realized that something is wrong?
Blanche: Yes. I kinda lost track.
Dorothy: Well, I think you better get out your book and find out what you did that week.
Sophia: We know what she did. We don't know with who.

Blanche: Here we go. Week of the 7th. Let's see.
Rose: Who was it?
Dorothy: Blanche?
Blanche: I don't know.
Dorothy: But, Blanche, who did you... see?
Blanche: Well, that was a particularly active time for me. I was looking quite stunning. You know, I'd just had my teeth bonded and I was really irresistible.
Dorothy: Who, Blanche?
Blanche: A few people.
Dorothy: How many is a few? Two?
Rose: Three?
Sophia: Do we hear four?
Blanche: Well, that was more like a ten-day two-week span.
Dorothy: For me, that's a lifetime span.
Sophia: Not even.

Blanche: Do you realise I'll be 65 when this child graduates high school?
Sophia: Try 70.
Blanche: I'll be the oldest mother. What I loved about my children was everybody thought I was their sister. My body won't recover from this one.
Sophia: It barely came back from the last time.

Dorothy: Oh, no, honey. It's not. It's OK. The baby's gonna be fine. Sweetheart, you'll have amniocentesis, and the baby will be just fine.
Rose: We'll help you. The baby will have three mothers.
Dorothy: Oh, it'll be such fun, honey. We can take turns feeding him, waking up with him.
Rose: And I can do the car pools for school because my hours are the same.
Dorothy: And I can help with homework because I'm a teacher.
Rose: And then we can send him to the University of Minnesota.
Dorothy: Minnesota? Are you crazy, Rose? This kid is going to Harvard.
Rose: Oh, Dorothy. Those Ivy League schools are so snotty with those preppy people. In Minnesota he'll get a nice mix.
Dorothy: Of cattle, maybe. This boy goes to Harvard.
Rose: Well, who says? We'll take a vote.
Dorothy: Well, nobody is going to vote for Minnesota over Harvard, Rose.

Blanche: He's not going anywhere.
Rose: It's a girl?
Blanche: No girl. No boy. I'm not pregnant. It's worse. It's much worse.
Dorothy: Blanche, what is it?
Rose: My life is over. Oh, Blanche. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for thinking all those bad things about you when I thought you were pregnant. Like what a slut you were for having all those men. The things only a tramp would do. But now that you're dying, please forgive me, I didn't know.
Blanche: I am not dying, but I might as well be. It's menopause. Well, I wish I could die because as far as I'm concerned, this is the end of my life.

Blanche: I don't know why I'm seeing a psychiatrist.
Dorothy: Because you haven't gotten out of bed all week. You don't eat, you don't sleep, all you do is cry. Now, you see the psychiatrist or we do.
Blanche: I don't know why you all have to be here with me. I'm fine by myself.
Sophia: I'm here because you're having lunch at Wolfie's after.