Blanche: I was in bed, eating. If I don't get up and walk around, I'm going to become as big as a hippo. And life, if I can still call it that, has to go on in one form or the other, so here I am. I'll just spend my remaining years in the company of women. Only reason I'm sticking around is to read Danielle Steel's next book.

Sophia: This is all because of the change?
Blanche: God, I hate that expression.
Dorothy: What is the big deal, Blanche? It's nothing. Look at this way. You don't get cramps once a month. You don't go on eating binges once a month. You don't get crazy once a month.
Sophia: You just grow a beard.
Dorothy: Don't listen to her, Blanche.
Sophia: You grow a beard, Dorothy. Believe me. I woke up one morning, I looked like Arafat.
Rose: I never grew a beard.
Sophia: You never grew brains, either.

Rose: Then when I stopped, it just happened. I mean, a few hot flashes and that was it.
Blanche: Oh, I've heard about those hot flashes.
Rose: They didn't bother me. I mean, I live in Florida, who can tell the difference between a hot flash and a weather front?

Rose: Oh, my God.
Dorothy: What?
Rose: I think they're making...
Dorothy: What? What?
Rose: I think they're making a stole.
Sophia: Let me see. Let me see. Yep, they are. We're back in business.
Dorothy: Oh, please.
Blanche: No, they are, Dorothy. They really are.
Dorothy: Oh, they certainly are. But don't count your money yet. Those are the two males.

Dr. Barensfield: But why is your life over?
Blanche: Because it is. Because it means I'm old. It means I'm not a real woman anymore.
Dr. Barensfield: All it really means is that you're no longer able to bear children.
Blanche: Oh, it means much more than that. I just don't know how it happened. You know, only yesterday, I was Magnolia Queen. I remember my Aunt Lynette going crazy about that time, my mother saying in a hushed voice, "Oh, she's going through the change." I thought, "Poor Aunt Lynette having to go through this change thing." I had no idea what it was, but I knew one thing for certain, it was never going to happen to me. Now here I am. I'm Aunt Lynette.

Rose: A baby. She's gonna have a baby.
Sophia: And if it's a boy, she can name it after its father, Rick Joe Bob Don Dave.

Rose: We had a pig once. All the male pigs loved her. She was beautiful. And she got pregnant and we never knew who the father was.
Dorothy: Oh, my God, Rose. What did you do on Father's Day?

Dorothy: Ma, perfectly normal people see psychiatrists. It's like talking to an old, knowledgeable, good friend.
Rose: Well, if that was the case, Dorothy, they wouldn't call them psychiatrists. They'd call them friends. Psychiatrists means "psych". For psycho.
Dorothy: It does not.
Blanche: She's right. I'm not staying. I'm not crazy, but he'll think I'm crazy cos why else would I be here? I'm not staying. I'm leaving.
Dorothy: Blanche.
Blanche: No, take your hands off me. Don't touch me. I won't sit here and talk to a perfect stranger who thinks I'm crazy and reveal the entire secrets of my live. I won't do it. I can't. I can't. I won't.
Dorothy: Blanche, pull yourself together, for God's sake. You're in a psychiatrist's office.

Dr. Barensfield: Alright, it is not just menopause. It's what it represents to you. Growing older.
Blanche: Yes.
Dr. Barensfield: And growing older represents a loss of attractiveness.
Blanche: Yes.
Dr. Barensfield: Is that all there is to you, sex appeal?
Blanche: Yes.
Dr. Barensfield: Men only value that in you?
Blanche: Well, they used to. Now my only hope is to become an intellectual and find a retired Jew.

Rose: Isn't Blanche gonna help?
Sophia: No, she won't come out of her room.
Rose: Well, she's never been in there that long.
Dorothy: Except for that time with the lifeguard.