Rose: Hi, Blanche, have you decided who you're gonna be at the masquerade ball?
Blanche: Yes. I'm going as Eve from the Garden of Eden. All I'll need is a few strategically placed leaves.
Rose: What about a snake?
Blanche: Oh, I already have a snake. I'm going with Hank Quinlan. He's a whiplash attorney.

Barbara: And so Dorothy Parker turned to Alexander Woollcott and said, "If you laid all the women in this room end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
Dorothy: [laughs] Very clever.
Blanche: Very, very clever.
Rose: I can't remember hearing anything more clever. Unless it was last week on Alf, when the cat next door- [Blanche taps on Rose's shoulder] I'll go get the after-dinner drinks.

Dorothy: Oh, Barbara, this is my mother, Sophia.
Barbara: Ah. Sophia, your daughter is one of the most beautiful people I've ever met.
Sophia: Boy, you writers never stop using your imagination.

Dorothy: Look, why is it so important that I go to this masquerade ball?
Blanche: Because it's so important to Rose. Just look at her, Dorothy. She's crushed, torn up, devastated by your shocking insensitivity to her feelings.
Rose: I don't feel that bad.
Blanche: Shut up, Rose.

Rose: Blanche is right, Dorothy. Barbara is not very nice. I mean, she looks down on everybody except you and that's only because you look up to her.
Dorothy: Now, that is ridiculous.
Blanche: You just don't notice how she uses her intelligence to make everybody else look stupid. Like tonight at supper when she asked us to pass the salt in Latin. Oh, I think she cares more about words than she does about people.

Dorothy: Blanche, honey, I hope you don't mind. I borrowed your rhinestone necklace.
Blanche: No, that's alright, but I should point out it was designed for a dainty neck.
Dorothy: Yes, Blanche, but I don't know Mike Tyson well enough to borrow his jewelry.