Blanche: It's karma.
Dorothy: I beg your pardon?
Rose: Crime is caused by karma. Some people give out an energy that attracts misfortune. They become victims. It must've been one of you. I certainly don't have that kind of energy. 'Course, I lost my mama's jewels because of somebody else's energy.
Sophia: I got no energy. I'm going to sleep.

Dorothy: Oh, knock it off. Now, we'll take the basic security package, OK? How much did you say it would be?
Salesman: $600.
Dorothy: Fine, we'll take it.
Salesman: It's better than nothing, but not much.
Dorothy: What do you mean?
Salesman: Well, for $600, you get a siren that your neighbors ignore. But with our deluxe system, an armed guard is here within five minutes.
Blanche: I want something that electrocutes an intruder.
Rose: How much more is the deluxe system?
Salesman: Ladies, we're talking about the difference between being here in the morning, or being steak tartare.
Dorothy: How much more?
Salesman: A bit more.
Dorothy: How much?
Salesman: Exactly?
Dorothy: Yes.
Salesman: $10,000.
Dorothy: I'd rather be murdered!

Blanche: I want a great, big wall safe.
Sophia: You don't need one anymore. You got no jewelry.
Blanche: Well, I'll get it back. I went to the police today with some sketches I made.
Rose: How could you make sketches? You didn't see the robbers.
Blanche: Not of the robbers, of my mama's jewels.

Blanche: With George, when I'd hear a noise, I'd wake him up, and then he'd take out his gun. Then he'd have to find the bullets, because I'd always hide the bullets. And then, when he found the bullets, we'd make love.
Sophia: Boy, can you tell a story.

Sophia: Some attack dog. He hid under the table, peed on the floor, and ran out the back.

Dorothy: Now, listen, Rose, this has gone too far. You are going overboard. Now, I think you need to see someone.
Blanche: Dorothy, I don't think a date is necessarily the answer.
Dorothy: I meant a psychiatrist, hot pants.

Dorothy: Now, what do you say, Rose? Come on, honey, we'll all go.
Rose: You think I'm crazy.
Dorothy: No, I don't but I do think you need help. I mean, you don't eat, you don't sleep, you're afraid all the time.
Sophia: You've got nothing to fear but fear itself and, of course, the boogeyman.

Blanche: I always heard psychiatrists could read your mind, but he didn't do that.
Sophia: Because there's nothing in your mind to read.
Dorothy: Ma!
Blanche: Anyway, I liked him. He was very understanding.
Sophia: Pay me $85, I'll be understanding and make you marble cake!
Blanche: And he liked me.
Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, how do you know that?
Blanche: Because he kept saying, "Blanche, how do you feel?" I wanted to say, "Wouldn't you just like to know, big boy?"

Sophia: I was just thrilled to be out of there. He had two dead fish in his tank.

Dorothy: Of course, your speech endorsing public beheadings with no trial, I think got him a little concerned.
Blanche: I know. He wants to see me again, but I think it's personal.