Sophia: Just outta curiosity, you don't have any Tony Bennett socked away, do you?

Blanche: My little girl is gonna have a baby by artificial insemination. I just can't bear to think about it. I'm just being silly, aren't I? For God's sake, somebody say something!
Rose: Eww.
Dorothy: Big help.
Blanche: Dorothy, what about you? You're always the sensible one around here, the free, modern thinker who keeps up with the times. Now, what do you think?
Dorothy: Eww.

Blanche: Did you see the way those people on the elevator looked at us when you pushed "5"? I'm so embarrassed.
Becky: Mama, they didn't look at us at all.
Blanche: They didn't want to make eye contact with anybody going to the fifth floor, the sperm floor.
Becky: I think you're overreacting.
Blanche: Perverts looked at us like we were perverts. I know that look.

Blanche: If you will excuse me, Becky and I are having breakfast on the lanai. We're still bonding.
Sophia: Dorothy, how come we never bond?
Dorothy: We're from before bonding and quality time. We're from when people stayed together because they had no choice.

Becky: Mama.
Blanche: Mm-hmm?
Becky: I'm getting impregnated on Monday. I've decided the best thing for me is to go to a sperm bank and get artificially inseminated.
Blanche: Why would you do something like this? Just to hurt me?
Becky: Mama, try to understand. I can't pass a carriage without looking in. I heard my biological clock ticking so loudly, it was keeping me up at night. A baby should be doing that.
Blanche: Well, why don't you wait till you get married?
Becky: I don't wanna get married.
Blanche: Well, then at least wait until I'm dead.
Becky: You really mean that?
Blanche: Yes, I do. And wait until all my friends are dead, too. The last thing I need is whispering at my funeral.

Dorothy: Hungry or suicidal?
Blanche: It's not easy being the mother of a child with her own free will.
Rose: I knew I felt the refrigerator open.

Sophia: Why didn't somebody tell me it was dinnertime?
Dorothy: Ma, it's not dinner, it's the middle of the night.
Sophia: Good, then I'm dressed for it.

Blanche: No wonder I'm up in the middle of the night working my way through the cheese keeper. Thank God I don't have the thighs of a normal woman.

Blanche: It's not that I mind becoming a young grandmother again. Nobody believes it anyway.
Dorothy: Please.
Blanche: It's just that it seems so unnatural. No daddy for the baby. And no fun trying.

Becky: I thought, Mama, that we could go down there and once you see these places are legitimate, you won't be so upset.
Blanche: I don't want to go to a place like that. It's too embarrassing. What if one of the neighbors saw me going in? What would they think?
Dorothy: That you're picking something up for a much younger person.