Dorothy: Blanche, would it help if I were to go with you?
Rose: Well I'll come too. I'll bring my camera. It's never too soon to start a baby book.
Sophia: Oh, boy, we're going to a sperm bank. I can't think of a better way to pep up a slow day.
Dorothy: Ma, you're not going.
Sophia: Why not?
Dorothy: I don't think you should be doing anything as strenuous as going to a sperm bank until you've had that checkup. Too bad.
Sophia: All right, I'll go to the doctor, but this better be a great sperm bank.

Blanche: I guess we oughta sit down. I suppose it's safe.
Becky: Mama, you're acting silly. Sperm can't live outside the human body.
Sophia: [to a young man] Does your mother know you're doing this for a living?

Dorothy: Blanche, your daughter is about to leave for the airport. What the hell are you doing out here?
Blanche: Well, there's still some sun. I thought I might get a little color.
Dorothy: Blanche, this has to be absolutely the dumbest thing you could possibly do.
Rose: Dorothy's right. The sun's rays can be dangerous now there's a hole in the ozone layer.

Blanche: If you-all are out here to try to get me to patch things up with Rebecca, you can forget it.
Sophia: Blanche, there comes a time when you have to let your daughter make her own decisions. I remember, Dorothy, when you were deciding what you wanted to be.
Dorothy: Ah, yeah. I wanted to go to college and be a schoolteacher. Pop wanted me to be a cosmetician in a funeral parlor.
Sophia: He always liked looking at dead people. Dead people and the Dodgers. That was it for him in the good-time department. Sometimes, just to make him happy, I used to lie in bed with a baseball hat on.

Dorothy: Blanche, the point is, she let me make my own choices. Now, this argument that you're having with Rebecca is not about artificial insemination.
Blanche: Like hell it isn't.
Dorothy: Well, part of it is, but the bigger part, Blanche, is about control. You refuse to see your daughter as an adult with the right to make her own decisions. Honey, you're gonna have to learn to let go.
Rose: Yes, and the more you try to make her see things the way you see things, the more she'll resist, and then you run the risk of never seeing her again. And never seeing your grandchild. Never. Think about it, Blanche.
Blanche: Oh, damn, I don't want that to happen.
Dorothy: Then I suggest you apologize.
Blanche: I know Rebecca is a grown woman, but to me she's still just a little girl. How do you say "I'm sorry" to your own child? Especially after all those years of sending them to their room until they were ready to apologize to you. Now all of a sudden everything's just all topsy-turvy. I don't know if I can do it.
Becky: Maybe it'd help if I sent you to your room.

Blanche: You girls were right. And, hey, listen. If my daughter wants to get herself artificially inseminated, I guess that's not so bad.
All: Eww.