Rose: I hate myself for feeling like that, but it's true. When Jonathan and I are alone together, everything's wonderful. But, when we're around other people, I'm uncomfortable. I know they're staring at him and they're talking about us and it bothers me. I know it shouldn't, but it does. I mean, how big a man is shouldn't make or break a relationship.
Dorothy: Not a word, Blanche.

Dorothy: A Yankee from New Jersey. You're a profile in courage, Blanche.

[dream sequence:]
Dorothy: Let's go, Rose. Everyone's waiting for you!
Rose: I don't think I can go through with this.
Blanche: What's the matter, honey? You and Jonathan have a fight?
Rose: No, it's just that I think marrying Jonathan might be a mistake. He is a lot shorter than I am.
Dorothy: Really? I hadn't noticed.
Blanche: Me neither.
Rose: How could you miss it? Everyone notices. Wherever we go, people stare at him!
Blanche: Maybe they're staring at you, honey.
Rose: At me?
Blanche: Oh, only a good friend would tell you this, but that color you dye your hair? Honey, that hasn't existed since they discontinued the Ford Falcon.

Dr. Jonathan Newman: I want to talk about us. Even though we've only been dating for a short period of time, I feel that our relationship is starting to get serious.
Rose: I feel the same way.
Dr. Jonathan Newman: I want you to know I care for you a lot, but there's a problem we cannot continue to ignore. Rose, in order for a relationship to be complete, each person has to accept the other for what he is. I don't think that can ever happen between us.
Rose: Jonathan, you're wrong. I can accept you. I've had time to think this thing through and I can honestly say, it doesn't bother me that you're small.
Dr. Jonathan Newman: Small? No. I meant I can't see you anymore because you're not Jewish.
Rose: What?
Dr. Jonathan Newman: Rose, this has been a very difficult decision for me.
Rose: You're dumping me because I'm not Jewish?
Dr. Jonathan Newman: Oh, no, please understand, I come from a very religious family.
Rose: I can't believe this! I've been agonizing over this relationship and now you have the nerve to-
Dr. Jonathan Newman: Rose, please lower your voice! People are staring at you.
Rose: Staring at me? They're staring at you!
Dr. Jonathan Newman: Well, yes, but I'm used to it. I'm a very snappy dresser!
Rose: [both laugh] I'm sorry I did that. I guess I was upset.
Dr. Jonathan Newman: I understand. I guess this has been a difficult relationship for both of us.
Rose: Oh, it's been a wonderful relationship. I'm gonna miss you.
Dr. Jonathan Newman: I'm gonna miss you too, Rose.
Waiter: How was the shrimp?
Rose: Unfortunately, I'll never know. You see, he's Jewish, and we can't see each other anymore.

Dorothy: What are you doing?
Sophia: What does it look like? I'm putting clam sauce in my suitcase.
Dorothy: Ma, I think they serve a snack on the flight.
Sophia: Heh-heh-heh. You kill me.
Dorothy: Ma, why are you taking all this food to Phil's?
Sophia: Because the only time your brother's wife goes into the kitchen, it's to get a cold beer.
Dorothy: Ma, she has no time to cook. She works all day.
Sophia: Welding. My son married a welder. Too bad she didn't weld his zipper shut. They got ten kids they can't afford.

Dorothy: Come on, Ma, now be nice. They're looking forward to your visit. The six boys are giving up their bedroom for you!
Sophia: It'll be a miserable week. I don't know why I'm going.
Dorothy: Ma, it's your grandson's graduation!
Sophia: Big deal. Animal grooming school. He'll know how to make that fluffy ball at the end of a poodle's tail.

Dorothy: Ma, have a wonderful trip and call me the minute you get there. And please, Ma, try not to argue with Phil's wife.
Sophia: We get along OK. Phil's wife has her good points. She's sweet, she's reliable, and when her father gets out of prison, she'll be a wealthy woman.

Blanche: You're angry.
Rose: I am not.
Blanche: Yes, I can tell. When you're really angry, you purse your little lips so tight, they almost disappear. See?
Dorothy: [entering] Have her lips come out yet?
Blanche: Nope, she's still mad at me.
Rose: I'm not mad. But if I were, I'd have every reason to be.
Dorothy: Rose, come on now. You're about to swallow your chin.

Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, Blanche, this is Dr. Jonathan Newman.
Blanche: Get out of here!
Dorothy: Blanche.
Blanche: But Dorothy, he's a-
Dorothy: A little early, yes, but we're delighted to see him.

Dorothy: Why don't we just start dinner?
Dr. Jonathan Newman: Oh, good. What are we having?
Dorothy: ... Short ribs.