Beverly: This is literally my dream come true. Now they're under my thumb forever. I get to decide how they live, who they marry, where they take me on vacation. And all because they left me on the side of the road.

Murray: Again with the ghosts? There are no ghosts.
Adam: Sure. People don't die with unfinished business. Must be nice to live in your world.

Barry: You heard her. She could be flattened by a truck.
Erica: She's not a squirrel. We're ten minutes from home. She'll be fine.

Barry: It's a picture of you. See, you're smiling like you used to before we ditched you on the side of the road like human trash.

Erica: This is so brutal.
Beverly: But one day, when you abandon me in an old age home and never visit, you'll look at these pictures and remember how much I loved you.

Beverly: Baby, if you don't eat, then I have failed as a mother.

Beverly: When I die, don't have a funeral. I don't want to take up anyone's time.

Erica: Get back in the car, mom. We want to have a picnic with you, okay?
Barry: Yeah, I'm so stoked to eat chicken salad on the ground.

Beverly: Movie? I thought we had plans to bedazzle all day.
Erica: I think you might have dreamed that.
Beverly: Well, it's possible, but we're all set up, so let's make those drab clothes sparkle.

Barry: Oh my God, what is that?
Beverly: It's a harlequin clown, riding a unicorn, high fiving a dolphin. Duh.