Beverly: Well, that's why you have no friends, Murray.
Murray: I live in a house full of people who won't leave me the hell alone. That's all the friends I need.

Beverly: Go over and apologize for being a pantsless grumpy-pants.
Murray: I should apologize for being me?
Beverly: Yes!

Murray: This place smells great.
Charles Kremp: It's the Gardenias. It's a perk of the job. I'm a florist.
Murray: How about that? We have a flower spray that we keep in the bathroom. It tries.

Murray: It's you!
Beverly: What?
Murray: You heard me. It's not me that's the problem. It's you.
Beverly: What did I do?
Murray: You scare the women. Scare her but good.

Beverly: How can she not like me?
Murray: You yell. You yell inside. You yell outside. And apparently, you climbed up on a garbage truck to yell at the garbage man. And he drove halfway down the block with you hanging off the back.
Beverly: And then he drove back and picked up our old sink. You're welcome.

Murray: You still want to have a barbecue with these people even though that woman's terrified of you?
Beverly: Not any more. I woke up early this morning, followed her for two miles on foot, then chased her down and convinced her there's nothing scary about me.

Beverly: (whispering) I brought you some wine.
Virginia: What?
Beverly: (whispering) I brought you some wine.
Virginia: I'm sorry. I can't hear you.
Beverly: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so naturally soft-spoken. I brought you some wine.

Beverly: Murray, wake the [bleep] up!

Adam: Okay, and we're rolling. Action.
Pops: What's my first line?
Adam: Okay, seriously? You got fruit punch on your suit?
Pops: It's okay. I've given the character a lot of thought. This robot loves fruit punch. He's a messy robot.

Adam: I told you, you're not a robot. You're a progam living inside a digital computer world.
Pops: Or instead of him going to a computer world, how about he goes to a juice world?
Adam: There's no such thing as a juice world.
Pops: But computer worlds are real?