Adam Quote #649
Quote from Adam in The Wedding Singer
Geoff: Dude, all you got to do is show this tale of personal devastation to your dad, and the gig is yours.
Adam: You don't think I should lighten it up a smidge? You know, cut in a rim shot or slide whistle? Dig a few chuckles out of it.
Geoff: Do not dig for chuckles!
Adam: Here's what I'm thinking.
Pops: [on tape] Barry and Lainey, words can't describe how I feel about you two. [fart noise] It just makes me burst. [deep fart noise] Your love is so special. [squeaky fart noise] So big. [loud fart noise] Thoughts?
Geoff: You got serious problems, man. Your grandfather just bared his soul, and now you want to fart it up?
Adam: I can't help myself. I can't not make something funny. It's the only way I can deal.
Geoff: Deal with what?
Adam: With my life in this ridiculous family and at school, where I feel anxious and awkward and desperately try to fit in!
Geoff: And keyboard farts help you fit in how?
Adam: 'Cause they make me happy. That's what big, funny movies and TV shows do for me. They let me escape and forget for a few lousy hours that I'm lazy-eyed Adam Goldnerd.
Geoff: Wow. That's really deep, man. I had no idea.
Adam: I think we both know what has to happen now.
Geoff: No! D-Don't do it, man! We connected! You got deep!
Adam: [loud, long fart noise]
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘The Wedding Singer’ Quotes
Quote from Pops
Adult Adam: [v.o.] In order to prove to my dad I could make an emotional wedding video, I began shooting my first-ever serious interview.
Adam: All right, Pops. I need emotion and heart. Just look into the camera and tell Barry and Lainey everything you feel.
Pops: Everything?
Adam: Everything.
Pops: Barry and Lainey, words can't describe how I feel about you two. Makes me think back to my own life. I had no parents. I had brothers who said, "If you get married, we won't help you." I had a rare condition. My appendix burst inside without causing me any pain. I have one large scar across my abdomen and one scar all the way down my right side. And I had my kidney- One of my kidneys removed. Can I erase that erase about the kidney? That's all I have to say.
Adam: Uh cut?
Pops: That was fun. How'd I do?
Adam: We've had a lot of fun here. Maybe too much. Let's stop.
Pops: Well, if you need anything else, just let me know. See you later, kiddo.
Quote from Beverly
Barry: I told you, me and Lainey just want a small wedding with a deejay and spaghetti bar.
Beverly: Well, when it's your wedding, you can serve spaghetti.
Barry: It is my wedding!
Beverly: Let me explain exactly how this works. I know exactly what you want, not you.
Barry: How is that even possible?
Beverly: See, your body grew in my body, transferring all your thoughts and choices into me.
Barry: But I am me! I know what me wants!
Beverly: No, I am you, and you want what I want.
Erica: That's ironclad logic from where I sit.
Quote from Bill Lewis
Bill Lewis: There she is, the woman who made the little devil who's taking my angel.
Beverly: And there's the man who once broke one of our dining room chairs 'cause he sat down too fast.