Geoff: Dude, all you got to do is show this tale of personal devastation to your dad, and the gig is yours.
Adam: You don't think I should lighten it up a smidge? You know, cut in a rim shot or slide whistle? Dig a few chuckles out of it.
Geoff: Do not dig for chuckles!
Adam: Here's what I'm thinking.
Pops: [on tape] Barry and Lainey, words can't describe how I feel about you two. [fart noise] It just makes me burst. [deep fart noise] Your love is so special. [squeaky fart noise] So big. [loud fart noise] Thoughts?
Geoff: You got serious problems, man. Your grandfather just bared his soul, and now you want to fart it up?
Adam: I can't help myself. I can't not make something funny. It's the only way I can deal.
Geoff: Deal with what?
Adam: With my life in this ridiculous family and at school, where I feel anxious and awkward and desperately try to fit in!
Geoff: And keyboard farts help you fit in how?
Adam: 'Cause they make me happy. That's what big, funny movies and TV shows do for me. They let me escape and forget for a few lousy hours that I'm lazy-eyed Adam Goldnerd.
Geoff: Wow. That's really deep, man. I had no idea.
Adam: I think we both know what has to happen now.
Geoff: No! D-Don't do it, man! We connected! You got deep!
Adam: [loud, long fart noise]