Geoff Quote #245
Geoff: Can't we just have the damage assessed by a mechanic?
John Calabasas: I already did. It's totaled.
Erica: From a ding on the bumper?
John Calabasas: But again, I'm willing to forget the whole thing for another ten hundo?
Geoff: Ten hundo? That's a thousand dollars. And no one says it that way.
John Calabasas: 'Cause I don't like to talk about money. But, yes, cash.
Geoff: Please. Haven't you ever loved someone so much that you felt you needed to change them for the better?
John Calabasas: The only things I ever loved were my Adam's apple and my car. And you guys wrecked both of those. Ooh! Ow! [winces] Pain and suffering. Maybe we should throw in another ten hundo on top? Have a great day. [exits]
Erica: And what have we learned?
Geoff: That everyone is terrible and no one is decent.
Barry: He got there.
Erica: There ya go.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘Eracism’ Quotes
Quote from Barry
Barry: Geoff, you've inspired me to be a better man.
Geoff: Aww, Bar. Are you giving some of your stuff to charity?
Barry: Nope, I'm giving some of your stuff back.
Geoff: My missing Jordans? I cried when I couldn't find these!
Barry: So hard. But they're back now, and they smell like my feet.
Geoff: My toothbrush? My pajamas? A photo of my Nana?
Barry: [chuckles] I like her face.
Geoff: My prescription swim goggles?
Barry: Yeah, those gave me a headache in the shower. But the good news is, I learned my lesson and I will never permanently borrow anything from you again. Later, Schwartz.
[When Barry turns around, he is wearing a jersey with the name "G. Schwartz 13" on the back]
Geoff: Oh, come on!
Quote from Murray
Murray: You never leave a note! Ever! No note!
Erica: See, Geoff? It all worked out.
Geoff: Not for the guy with the dented car.
Murray: Follow our Golden Rule... "Do unto others or they'll do unto you."
Geoff: That's not the Golden Rule.
Erica: He didn't say the Golden Rule. He said our Golden Rule. Words matter, Geoff.
Barry: I thought it was "Do unto others before they do unto you."
Erica: That's good too.
Quote from Barry
Erica: I'm in. I had pizza for lunch, but I'll just fold it over and say it's a calzone.
Barry: And I'll take Hawaiian. Those island people wear flip-flops to the office. They know how to live.
Erica: Pineapple? Who puts fruit on a pizza?
Barry: This guy! There's literally nothing I won't eat if it's on top of sauce, cheese, and dough.
Murray: What about sardines?
Barry: Those salty little guppies? Stack 'em up.
Erica: Yogurt?
Barry: It'll just make it healthier.
Beverly: Franks n' beans?
Barry: It's called campfire pizza. Reminds me of summer.