Adam: Barry, every word you say is the best argument for why we don't need your help.
Barry: Well, there's no way Mom's gonna let you have a night of debauchery.
Adam: We've got it covered. I told her I'm sleeping at Dave Kim's.
Dave Kim: And I said I was sleeping here.
Barry: Dammit! That's rock solid.
Adam: Nothing will stop us from an epic night of "having the nuts"!

Erica: So you were just pretending to be successful so that I wouldn't worry about you and we could focus on my issues?
Lainey: You're my best friend.
Erica: You're my best friend!
Hobo Jim: And you're both my best friend!
Lainey: Get outta here, Jim! We're having a moment. It's not all terrible. I did book a small gig tomorrow. Hey, maybe you'd want to do it with me?
Erica: You mean get the band back together? Hell yeah.
Hobo Jim: You know, I used to be a Little Rascal!

Adam: Whoa, wha...
Pop-Pop: Look, I don't want to be here any more than you do, so spackle away.
Adam: It's great to see you, Pop-Pop.
Pop-Pop: Oh, cut the crap. So what did you do to get saddled with foot duty?
Adam: I got in trouble for lying about a poker game, and my mom shut it down.
Pop-Pop: Poker, huh? You know, I used to run a weekly game here with the fellas.
Adam: You had a poker game? Also, you had fellas?
Pop-Pop: Eh, more like suckers I'd hustle. [chuckles] Hey, do me a favor... open that closet over there. [Adam opens the door] Well, why don't ya have your game here?
Adam: [gasps] Are you serious?
Pop-Pop: Hey, look, I'm bored and I'm broke, huh? I'd never miss a chance to fleece a buncha dumb kids.
Adam: Those seem like all the wrong reasons, but it would solve a minor social problem, so hell yeah!
Pop-Pop: Relax, it's just a game. We're not kissing nurses in Times Square. Huh? Back to the foot.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As I found a way to bring poker night back, Erica and Lainey were back to rocking out, except the gig was for a -year-old's birthday.
Lainey & Erica: [sing] ♪ Twinkle, twinkle little star ♪ ♪ How I wonder what you are ♪
Lainey: Thank you, Encino!
Erica: This is fun. Rich L.A. people blow their money on the dumbest stuff. I mean, look, there's a sushi chef.

Lainey: Oh, my God. Ashley's dad is Tom Marquez? He books the Roxy!
Erica: You need to give him your demo!
Lainey: I totally would if I had a demo. What do I do?
Erica: I don't know. But he's coming over right now, so act cool.
Tom: Hey, you're a star.
Lainey: Thank you. I mean, I think I put a little too much vibrato on "Wheels On The Bus," but I guess you see my raw talent.
Tom: Nah, the costumes. You're a star. She's a moon. Good stuff.
Lainey: Oh, right. And I really hope to play your club one day.
Tom: Fine. How's tonight?
Lainey: Tonight? Holy crap. Yes! How is this happening?
Tom: Eh, it's a holiday Monday.
Lainey: We'll take it!

Lainey: Oh, my God! The Roxy?!
Erica: Is this what L.A. is? A place where dreams come true in the backyard of a children's party?
Lainey: It's all because you're here. Everything's better when we're together.
Erica: I wish it could be this way all the time. Actually, I guess it could be.
Lainey: What are you saying right now?
Erica: I could move here. Geoff isn't what's missing from my life. It's you!
Lainey: It is me!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] I was set up for the best night ever, but like any good poker player, I had to do a little bluffing.
Murray: How's my dad?
Adam: Well, actually...
Murray: It wasn't a conversation starter. Just say fine, and we're good.

Beverly: I just hope you learned your lesson.
Adam: So many lessons. In fact, you broke my troublemaking spirit, so I'm gonna freshen up and head back over.
Beverly: Our sweet boy has returned to us. [chuckles] Thank God I was there to help him change course. Can you imagine a parent allowing this to happen under her own nose?
Adam: You saved me, Mama. I'll probably stay late and watch The Tonight Show... Joan Rivers is guest host. [as Joan Rivers] "Can we talk?!"
Beverly: She sounds exactly like that! [laughs] Oh, we got a good one with him.
Murray: He's a winner.

Lou Schwartz: Geoffrey! You can't wander off with the buzzer! Oh, it's Erica and the one people talk about. Hi, girls.
Geoff: Hey, look, it's my dad! On my surfin' safari.
Lou Schwartz: What? I haven't been in the ocean in 40 years. You know what's in there? Fur seals... very aggressive!
Geoff: Right, you just like to support me from the beach.
Lou Schwartz: The beach? It takes minutes to put sunscreen on this body. I'd rather sit in the dark.
Geoff: Dad, why don't you just take the buzzer?
Lou Schwartz: Okay, but hurry. Your mother won't stop about trying peach iced tea. Who puts fruit in tea? The nerve!

Geoff: To be clear, everything I said about surfing is a lie. I came here with my parents to go to an optometry convention and to escape you. But ha ha, didn't work. Okay, goodbye.
Erica: Geoff, wait. It's really good to see you. And this crazy amazing thing happened. W-We're playing the Roxy tonight!
Geoff: That's the biggest opportunity you've ever had.
Erica: Well, since you're in town, you should come. I mean, if you want. I'm sure you have eye business with your dad.
Geoff: So much eye business, but, yeah, maybe.
Erica: Maybe is great!
Lou Schwartz: It's happening! The thingamajig is buzzing! We're all here!