Beverly: Okay, you know what? It's fine. Words were said, feelings were hurt, but I am a big enough person to pretend that none of this has ever happened.
Eileen: Sorry, seat's taken.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] But this happened. The Frentas replaced my mom with another yenta.
Beverly: Oh, for God's sakes. You invited Eileen Leffler instead of me?
Essie Karp: We just want a friend who doesn't only talk about herself.
Linda Schwartz: And she listens to us and even asks follow-up questions.
Beverly: Here's a follow-up question, Linda. Not a lot of people came to your New Year's party, and I felt bad for you.
Linda Schwartz: That is not a question. It's a hurtful statement.

Barry: What the hell? Why is Gleb wearing my Flyers shirt?
Erica: Forget your dumb shirt. Why does he have my Caboodle?
Pops: You mean Gleb's Caboodle.
Gleb: Is perfect for storing beets and cabbage.
Pops: I've decided to take everything I've ever bought you and give it to Gleb.
Barry: What?!
Adam: No way!
Erica: But it's our stuff!
Pops: But Gleb actually appreciates it and, frankly, needs it more than you.

Adam: He needs my Chairry?
Erica: He can't have my keytar.
Adam: Gleb needs my Nintendo Power Pad?
Gleb: You mean Nintendo blanket.
Barry: This is crazy! What's he gonna do with a lacrosse stick?
Gleb: Is perfect for scooping up rodent or fighting bat.
Erica: Not cool, Pops! He can't just take my "WKRP in Cincinnati" record player!
Gleb: Is not for making pancake?
Erica: No. It's for living out radio workplace fantasies. And if I have to explain that to you, it's clear you don't deserve it.
Pops: He deserves it more than you.

Adam: Okay, I think if we just calm down and take a breath, we'd all realize that Gleb can't take my GI Joe Space Shuttle and Snoopy Sno-Cone Maker! I need those to live!
Pops: I think that's the problem.
Barry: Fine! We admit it. We're selfish kids and we don't know how good we got it. Now give me back my WWF Wrestling Ring, or I will cry right here, right now.
Pops: You learned nothing. All I wanted to do was show you kids where I came from. It was my fault for thinking you'd care.

Murray: What are you doing at Bill's house?
Beverly: Sure, I'd love to hang out with you. Thanks. So, what's on tap for today? Watching the big sports event?
Bill Lewis: Terrible game.
Murray: It's unwatchable.

Barry: Wow. Is that you?
Pops: Doesn't matter.
Erica: No, it does. You're right. We're stupid and selfish and have no idea how good we have it.
Pops: Look, I didn't want you to feel bad about what you have, but we all dreamed of coming here to start a new life.
Adam: Well, we really are grateful that we have a grandfather who was brave enough to go look for one.
Pops: Thank you. But I'm not the one you have to apologize to.

Adam: You're packing? But your trip's not over for another week.
Gleb: I think is nothing to see here.
Erica: You may be wrong about that.
Gleb: Is tickets?
Barry: To the Phillies game. We wanted to show you America can be pretty awesome.

Gleb: This American fashion make no sense.
Erica: Those are Z Cavariccis. They're the coolest in trouser technology.
Gleb: But why must there be two belts?
Barry: 'Cause two is always better than one. Just like wings on an airplane or a Twix.

Gleb: Gleb not sure he can pull off LL Cool J hat.
Erica: Oh, you will with these bad boys.
Gleb: But you see much less with these.
Erica: It's not about seeing. It's about being seen.
Gleb: It seems like ugly fad which will not stand test of time, yes?
Barry: Trust us, G, the way you look right now will always be cool.
Erica: Always.