Andy: Dammit, I'll eat the dumb grape. [eats] Huh? Mmm-mmm. It's pretty good, actually.
Barry: I know.
Andy: It's juicy. Oh. [chuckles][coughs] Holy crap, it's happening.
Geoff: Bar, he just coughed.
Barry: Your savior is here, little friend. [performs the heimlich]
Andy: Oh! My ribs!
Matt: Barry, he can talk. That means he's fine.
Barry: His breathing is labored.
Andy: Oh, please let me go!
Barry: And life! [Andy gasps] You are forever in my debt.
Andy: Your hands went way too low, bro. Way too low!
Erica: Wow, I thought doctors are supposed to make people feel better. Face it, you're not the healer I am.
Barry: I'm more concerned that my patient is alive.
Andy: Alive? Barely!

Adam: I'm really not sure about this.
Beverly: This is our best chance we have to get that scooter back. No woman can say no to your deliciousness. Am I right?
Adam: I feel like a piece of meat.
Brea: Hey, the sooner we get the scooter back, the sooner we can get to the beach. Now, let's see how you look in my tank top.
Beverly: Mama's little muscle man! [rings doorbell] You're on. Sparkle!

Adam: Okay, we're finally off to catch some rays and splash in the surf.
Beverly: Have fun. But be careful, though. I heard on the radio they found a dead great white on the beach. Apparently, it was killed by a bunch of very territorial sea snakes.
Adam: There are sea snakes?

Erica: Crap. Barry's coming. And he just got his MCAT scores. God, I bet he aced 'em, the idiot. He can't know about this.
Geoff: But he knows you took the test. I mean, I'm not sure we can keep it from him.
Erica: It's called lying, Geoff. And a husband lies for his wife. No matter what the circumstances are or how wrong she is.
Geoff: He does?
Erica: Do you remember that woman who was arrested for burying her mailman in the garden? Where did her husband say that she was that weekend?
Geoff: Apple picking in Vermont?
Erica: Exactly. Because that's what marriage is, love and covering up heinous crimes.
Geoff: I don't know. I've never lied to Barry before.
Erica: Oh, it's easy. I'll show you.

Barry: I... I'm a little surprised. You're famously terrible at taking tests.
Erica: Well, now I'm famously the best at it. And let's drop it because I'm also famously modest. [old man coughs] Oh, my God. Is he choking?
Barry: Relax, food court! I just did very well on my MCAT! I'm basically a doctor! Now, if a patient can't make a sound, then he's definitely choking. Sir, are you choking? [man points to his throat] You gotta speak up, I can barely hear you.
Erica: He's obviously choking, Barry! Do something!
Barry: I'm diagnosing, Erica. Try coughing.
Erica: [performs the heimlich] Out, calzone!
Barry: Ugh! Disgusting.
Geoff: What the hell just happened?
Waitress: This lady just saved the old man's life. She's a hero.

Beverly: Sounds good. And you know what? I might not even need your help at all.
Brea: Really?
Beverly: Yeah, I'm just, uh, emotionally ready for this, you know? Like, here's my dad's sweater. It even smells like him. There's no sense of loss, just lots of warm memories.
Adam: That's great, Mom.
Beverly: Aw, see, right now, I'm remembering the first time he ever took me to the park. And I wanted to go on the swings, but I was so nervous.
Brea: Aww.
Adam: Big aww. We should get going.
Beverly: So he put my little hand in his. It was so strong and encouraging.
Adam: That's him alright. Cowabunga. The sand awaits.
Beverly: I felt so safe and loved. And now, because he's gone, because he was stolen from me...
Adam: Balls.
Beverly: [voice breaking] I'll never feel that way again! [cries] Oh-ho, God! [doorbell rings]
Brea: Please tell me that's someone to tell us there's a hurricane.
Beverly: I'll get rid of them. You two need to witness more of the deep personal bond I had with my father.

Charlotte: And Brea's here, too.
Beverly: Wait, you know Brea?
Brea: Well, let's be clear, no. I spoke to her once on the phone when Pops was opening Adam's pistachios.
Adam: It was a particularly stubborn batch.
Beverly: None of this makes sense.
Adam: Well, I had just clipped my nails.
Beverly: Not your comely feminine fingers, this woman.
Charlotte: I can see that this is very complicated and difficult for you, Beverly, so I'll give you time to process and drop by later. Ta. Congrats on NYU.

Charlotte: Oh, hi, Adam.
Adam: Hiya. Can you chat for a minute?
Charlotte: Anything for Albert's boy.
Adam: Pops' scooter is missing, and I'm pretty sure that you've got it. And if I can get it back, that'd be great.
Charlotte: Honestly, I don't recall Albert owning a scooter. But my memory isn't what it used to be.
Beverly: Okay, we are not gonna fall for your doddering old lady routine.
Charlotte: Of course you're behind this. Albert said that you could be difficult.
Beverly: Oh, do you know what he told me about you? Nothing! So maybe your relationship was more important to you than it was to him.
Charlotte: Or maybe you weren't as close with your father as you thought you were.
Beverly: Well, I never.
Charlotte: Well, I always. With your father.
Beverly: We're getting that scooter back.
Charlotte: Can't get back what I don't have!

Barry: I can't believe my dumb sister is Food Court Hero of the Year.
Naked Rob: I can't believe there is a Food Court Hero of the Year.
Andy: It is a weirdly specific honor.
Barry: And Erica got a perfect score on the LSAT? She's such a terrible test-taker.
Geoff: Yep, she nailed it alright. Got a hundred.
Barry: Wait, are you saying she scored 100 points?
Geoff: Uh, yes, Barry, that's what a perfect score is. 100.
Barry: A perfect score on the LSAT is 48. [JTP are silent]
Geoff: No, it's not. Right, guys? Dammit. Please don't tell her I said she bombed.
Barry: I didn't know she bombed until right this moment, Geoffrey.
Geoff: Oh, no!

Erica: Oh, hey, can you back up? The ring of honor is for heroes only.
Barry: Is it also for people who bombed their LSAT?
Geoff: You're so pretty! Do you remember when I was saying that earlier? You're so pretty.
Barry: That's okay, Erica. Lying's not against the law. Or is it? You wouldn't know.
Erica: Whatever. You've wanted to be a doctor your entire life, but now you know that you don't have what it takes. And I have a Golden Tray to prove it.
Mall Official: Attention, everyone. We're canceling today's ceremony. Unfortunately, the man who was saved just passed away.
Barry: It gets better and better.
Erica: Wait, we can still have the ceremony. I gave that geezer one more week of life.
Barry: Unless your sloppy Heimlich is what killed him. Too much force, maybe a rib punctured his lung, it happens.
Mall Official: I think I heard "hit by bus."
Matt: Ah.