[Hysterical laughter]
Erica: Thank you for bringing me home from college to see this!
Barry: I can't breathe!
Murray: It hurts! It's so funny it hurts!
Beverly: Seriously?! You're laughing at me after I just danced my heart out?!
Adam: Thanks, Mom! I needed a good laugh.
Murray: It hurts! Aah! Oh.

Beverly: Hey, Bar. Don't hug Mama, she's aglow with dance.
Barry: Why is your shoulder exposed?
Beverly: Mama's just flashdancing.
Barry: Well, you're flashing too much!
Johnny Atkins: Don't listen to him, hot moms. Johnny Atkins is a shoulder man.

Barry: Dad, kill her dance dreams now!
Murray: Just go to her damn show and let me know how it went.
Beverly: Oh, no, you're going, too.
Murray: I can't. I got a work thing.
Beverly: You don't even know when it is.
Barry: And I have a work thing, too.
Beverly: You don't even have a job!
Barry: That checks out.

Erica: Are you okay, Dad?
Beverly: No, he's not okay. He literally injured himself laughing at me.
[Murray starts laughing again] Beverly: Enough! All you people do is call me a smother and beg me to change. And then when I finally try to do it, you mock me with your mean spirits.
Erica: Thank you. This is the most fun that we've had as a family in a long time.
Murray: [laughs] Ha! So funny! Ohh! I popped something else! Gotta go back. Aaah! Aah! Great-grandpa's balls!

Adam: Jackie, huge news. We're gonna double date with Emmy and her new beau.
Jackie: Oh, my God, Emmy has a boyfriend?
Adam: Not yet. But she will once I play a little yenta matchmaker.
Jackie: Aw, you're gonna set her up?
Adam: Yep, I'm the best. Now time to find Emmy a sweet, kind dude who isn't popular or threatening to me in any way.

Adam: Muscles Mirsky, what if I told you there's three eligible bachelors just waiting to become your boyfriend?
Principal Ball: Mr. Goldberg, this is study hall, not the dating game.This'll only take a minute. Let's meet bachelor number one! He's exotic. He's mysterious. He's Sergei.
Sergei: Good hello, sturdy woman.
Emmy Mirsky: This joker? You can't be serious.
Sergei: Sergei still happy he got out there.
Adam: Okay, rough start.

Adam: Bachelor number two is a tall glass of water who plays clarinet in marching band-
Dan: It's me Dan! I couldn't wait for him to finish speaking!
Emmy Mirsky: Keep walkin', Dan-O.
Dan: Thank you for the opportunity to compete.
Adam: Saving the best for last. Bachelor number three.
[Dave Kim walks in]
Emmy Mirsky: It better not be Dave Kim.
[Dave Kim walks out]
Adam: Whaaat? I would never!

Mrs. Mirsky: She's not there, is she?
Adam: Of course. I just forgot. She's making popcorn in the popcorn room.
Mrs. Mirsky: Uh-huh. Can I talk to her?
Adam: Of course you can. Hey, Emmy. Your mom's on the phone. Here she comes. She's walking to the phone with the popcorn in her hand. Oh, no, she just tripped and fell. Ohh, the popcorn is everywhere. Oh! Oh! Now, I just fell! Gotta go.

Erica: There she is. Our flashy little flashdancer.
Beverly: What is all this?
Barry: [echoing] You're about to witness the greatest apology ever.
Barry: Behold, a three-act hip-hopera so powerful you'll forgive anything. JTP!
All: JTP!
Barry: Drop a respectful apology beat. Mom-
Beverly: Stop! It worked. I forgive you. I can't stay mad at my babies.
Barry: But there's two hours left, plus intermission.

Murray: Oh, I get it. But there's gonna be a Goldberg on stage tonight, no matter what.
["Flashdance" plays]
Beverly: What are you doing?
Murray: The kids gave you an apology opera. I'm giving you an I'm-sorry dance.
Beverly: Well, dancing requires movement, which is what you hate the most.
Murray: I think you'll find me shockingly agile.
Beverly: Please stop.
Murray: Can't stop. Got flashdance fever.
Beverly: I just ate.
Murray: Uh, okay, here comes the good stuff. Ohh!