Vivian: Where is Vy? Breakfast is getting cold.
Robert: Knowing Vy, she's upstairs freshening up.
Will: Oh, no, no. Not my mom. First thing she does when she gets anywhere is she kicks off her shoes, rolls her hair up into one of them twist joints, and goes and puts on one of my big old sweat suits.
Vy: Sorry, everybody, I just had to freshen up a little bit. You like my new pearls, Will?
Will: Yeah, but they would probably look better with one of my big old sweat suits.
Vy: You can borrow them anytime, baby.

Will: Wait, Mom, hold up. I put your favorite breakfast together for you. lt's waffles with boysenberry syrup eggs, extra-runny and sausage, extra-burnt.
Vy: Thank you, baby, but I'm eating lighter these days.
Robert: You want half my melon?
Vy: Oh, baby, you know me like the back of your hand. But I need some juice. Anybody else want anything while I'm up?
Robert: Hey, as long as I'm around, you're not lifting a finger. May l?
Vivian: Philip? I feel a little thirsty, too.
Philip: Robert? Do you mind getting Vivian something to drink while you're up there? And toss me a Pudding Pop.

Robert: The refrigerator doesn't open right. You mind if I take a look at it?
Philip: Be my guest, but the repairman said we had to order some new door hinges.
Will: Yo, hold up, Robert. I can take care of that. Hey, G, I'm gonna need a screwdriver, a wrench, a T square and about a week off from school.
Robert: All done.
Will: Oh, sure. [shakes the fridge door] It's just gonna break again in 20 years.

Vy: Robert can fix anything. He's in construction. Tell them, baby.
Robert: I'm in construction.
Vy: But keep your fingers crossed. He's working on this big deal with the government and he's expecting to hear from them any day. If the deal goes through, he'll be his own boss.
Vivian: All right.
Will: Yo, I'm working on a big deal. You know, down at the restaurant where I work? I'm about to be promoted to vice president in charge of keeping bums out of the entryway.

Vivian: Sweetie, why don't you show Claudia our back yard?
Will: Well, why? It's hot, it's smoggy and plus, I won't be able to hear nothing y'all are saying.
Claudia: That's the point, big guy. Come on.

Ashley: So, did he pop the question?
Vivian: Ashley, honey, where are your manners?
Ashley: l'm sorry. Did he pop the question, please?
Vy: Not yet. But he's planning on building this dream house and he did mention his-and-hers sinks.
Hilary: Well, let the maids worry about the sinks. What does he drive?
Vivian: The important question is, does his mother like you?
Vy: She's dead.
Vivian: Girlfriend, you in.

Will: Man, Jane Fonda got a butt like Arsenio. Yo, I could do that if I had the right outfit. Maybe not. I'd like to have kids one day.

Will: Yo, man, what's up?
Robert: Oh, man, you caught me. I was trying to surprise you.
Will: Well, when you say "surprise," you don't mean like "l'm driving down a big hill, and all of a sudden: "Surprise! My brakes don't work"?
Robert: You got the same sense of humor as your mom, you know that?
Will: Now, don't be trying to distract me. What you doing to my ride?
Robert: Hey, your mom and I borrowed the car. I saw you needed a water pump, so I picked one up.
Will: Hey, that's pretty decent of you, man.

Carlton: Mom, we're starved. And Claudia's being selfish with her Pez.
Ashley: Carlton, you just have to know how to ask. [holds out her hand]
Claudia: [gives Ashley a pez] Now can I have Barbie's head back?

Carlton: Will, thank God I found you.
Will: Carlton, how did you know I was down here? Did my mom send you down here to get me?
Carlton: No. I snuck out. I was worried about you.
Will: Well, as you can see, I'm fine.
Carlton: Will, you don't have to hide behind that macho exterior with me. I see your frightened inner child and I'm here to say come out and play.
Will: You been watching too much Oprah, man.
George: You can never watch too much Oprah. If it wasn't for her show, I'd still be in denial about my drinking. [downs shot]