TV Quotes

Will: Hey, man, it's good to see you, man.
Jazz: By the way, who's playing the mother this year?
Nicky: It's the same mom.
Jazz: Who are you?
Will: Oh, come on, Jazz, that's baby Nicky.
Jazz: Man, I'm going back on the street where things make sense.

Geoffrey: Mr. Jazz is here to see you. If you need me, I'll be hiding the silver.

Hilary: I'm going, but I'm not staying long. I'm conferencing with my producers about my talk-show persona.
Am I antagonizing like Geraldo? Am I investigative like Donahue?
Will: Maybe you should go bald like Montel.

Philip: No daughter of mine is getting into the music business, period. I've seen it ruin too many young lives.
Ashley: But, Daddy-
Philip: I don't want any buts.
Geoffrey: Well, you're certainly losing that battle.

Philip: Now, we better start our walk, Vivian. Baskin-Robbins closes at 6.

Will: Mr. Berry, listen, I just wanna apologize for my uncle, man. He got a wooden plate, he just found out he got termites.

Will: [v.o.] It's been a while since I left the family and moved back to Philly. I miss them a lot, but I got me a great job at Duke's House of Cheesesteaks. And, like they say, life goes on.
Man: Hey, Smith.
Will: Yo, man, what's up?
Man: Come here.
Will: What's up?
Man: What does this contract say?
Will: "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."
Man: That's right, not Philadelphia, Bel-Air.
Will: Yeah, man, but, you know, my mama...
Man: Get in the van. Yo, holmes, to Bel-Air.

Will: Hey, Jazz, what's up, man?
Both: Psssh!
Jazz: Man, my best friend's back from Philly, I gotta hear about it on the street?
Will: Well, I tried to get in touch, Jazz. Where are you staying?
Jazz: On the street. At least until Jewel lets me back in the house.

Will: I'm telling you, my boys in the studio were saying your vocals are all that.
Ashley: Will, I can't believe it. I sound so professional.
Will: Hey, you'd be surprised what a little creativity in the studio can do. Ask Janet Jackson.

Jazz: Speaker for Mr. Berry.
Receptionist: We didn't order any speakers.
Jazz: It's a gift from Sony Music from Mr. Sock-It-To-Me.
Receptionist: Okay, well, then come right in.
Gordy: Just put that over there.
Jazz: You know, there's a $20 delivery charge. [Will knocks on the box from the inside] Oh, my mistake.

Will: Hey, Johnny C.
Johnny: Hey. How are you doing?
Will: Think you can help a young janitor out?
Johnny: Oh, sure, lay it on me, my brother.
Will: Bla-bla-blam-blam! Here it is, the next Whitney.
Johnny: Where's the rest?
Will: Huh?
Johnny: This is the music business. You need the universal lubricant. [Will looks disgusted] I'm talking cash, man.

Will: [in deep voice] Johnny C. Here with all the happening new artists right here on 93.4, The Groove. Whoa, looks like we got some requests. Who's this? [in high voice] How are you doing? This is Rafica calling from Watts. Ho! Listen, Johnny, could you play that record by Ashley Banks called "Make Up Your Mind"? I'm with this man who can't make up his mind. That's why I'm like, "You better make up your mind." [in foreign accent] My name is Tony. And I'd like to hear that record by Ashley Banks called "Make Up Your Mind" before I have to come down there and blow up your car. [in deep voice] And here we go for an unprecedented 11th time, Ashley Banks singing "Make Up Your Mind."

Will: Ashley. That is Gordy Berry. That is the biggest record producer in the world. Look, we got a packed house out there. Your entire career rests on this moment. There will never be another chance like this. Your future, my future everything is riding on this performance. One more thing, relax.

Ashley: Daddy, please.
Philip: Don't you give me that look. Vivian, she's giving me that look. All right, all right, all right. If you can guarantee that this does not interfere with Ashley's normal life that means her grades remain high that she's home every night for dinner and in bed by 11:00 you got a deal.
Will: [laughing] Hey, Gordy, where my money?
Philip: Will, I'm going to be on you like a shadow.
Will: Shadow? Uncle Phil, with you, it'd be more like an eclipse, wouldn't it? [both laughing]
Philip: Eclipse.
Will: Eclipse.
Philip: You know, just for that crack, I'm gonna make myself co-manager.
Will: One fat joke too many. I knew it, I could feel it.

Will: Hey, Uncle Phil, man, I gotta give you props for investing in this record store, man. That must've been a lot of money. How much are we really worth?
Philip: We? [laughing] "We."