Will: Hey, Hil. I got a great idea for your talk show. Divas: Past, present and future. On the same show you have Aretha, Whitney and Ashley.
Hilary: Who's Ashley?
Will: Your sister.
Hilary: Well, Ashley hasn't even released a single yet. I need guests who can deliver ratings. I mean, if she wants to come sit in the audience or something, you know...

Will: Hey, yo, man, is Ashley really that bad?
Geoffrey: I'm afraid so, Master William. Perhaps later on we could pour some water on her and watch her melt.

Will: [on the phone] Six is completely unacceptable. It's Will Smith you talking to. I want 10. Oh, no, no, no. You got to give me 10 or I'm taking Ashley Banks elsewhere. That's what I thought. You're a very smart man. No, no, love you. Ciao. [hangs up]
Carlton: Negotiating for a bigger royalty?
Will: No, a better table. I got a business meeting tomorrow night at the Roxy. Boy, this management thing is love. Trust me. People tripping all over themselves just to make you happy. Hey, now I know how Hammer must have felt the week he was famous.

Carlton: Look at you, Will. These insincere, sycophants ply you with gifts shower you with money, and why? Is it because you have any discernible talents? No. It's because you control someone else who does.
Will: You want a job, don't you?
Carlton: Yes.
Will: Well, I ain't got no problem keeping it in the family. You can handle the money, business manager.
Carlton: Yes! You're gonna be watching me, aren't you?
Will: Like White folks watch Wings.

Will: Now, Gordy...
Gordy: Yeah?
Will: What is the best way to launch a new act?
Gordy: Well, I've always found...
Will: Ease up a second there, bro. That was one of them there rhetorical questions, you know? Ain't that right, Carlton? [Carlton nods] All right. We are gonna introduce Ashley to the world in person. Announcing the Ashley Banks North American tour. [Carlton unveils a map of the United States] Right. Okay. Now, we gonna start right here in New York. And then blang, over to Phoenix. Then bap, bap, bap, bladow, over to Orlando. Then blip-bloop, we gonna slide up to Seattle. Next we...
Gordy: Will, Will. We would need a jet to meet that kind of schedule. I mean, we simply don't have those kind of resources.
Will: Y'all got a couple of weeks to come up with the funds. I got dates in all these cities.
Gordy: You've already booked the tour?
Will: Oh, no, no, no, bro, I said "I got dates." See, I got Tina in New York. I got Beth in Seattle. Ooh. Actually, I might need a couple days in Seattle. Beth is a big girl, you know? Oh, you laughing. You must like them a little rotund yourself.

Will: You know what I'm talking about, Uncle Phil. I got the deal, then I got the shaft.
Philip: Alright, I understand you're angry, but I'm asking you to come home.
Will: Home? I have no home.
Philip: All right. You cannot live here forever.
Will: I ain't planning on living here forever. Just till I'm dead.
Mr. Weisman: Smith, we gotta talk.
Will: Look, not now, Mr. Weisman, I'm in the middle of a meeting.
Mr. Weisman: No, you're not. Your lease ran out last week. I want you out of here by the end of today. I got the worst luck with tenants.

Will: All right, let me do all the talking. All you got to do is agree with everything I say and disagree with everything they say.
Carlton: Why don't I just smile and nod?
Will: Better.

Gordy: Will, Will, Will, this is quite an office you've got here.
Will: You like it? Actually, I'm not even finished yet. I'm having a bust of my head made. It's getting helicoptered in on Thursday.

Gordy: Will, now wouldn't it be more effective to shoot a video for Ashley?
Will: Oh, come on, Gordy, video is dead, man. Ain't that right, Carlton?
Carlton: Absolutely. Most of the arcades are losing money. I mean... [nods]

Will: Next, I got a publicity stunt planned for Ashley. We gonna set up lunch with her and Tevin Campbell. Midway through, she gonna stand up, take a drink and splash it in his face. Right? Then she slap him, call him a punk. Just "punk." Just scream it out. Next, we plant a story that Tevin been sleeping outside her crib with a rifle. Now, it ain't gonna do too much for Tevin's career but Ashley becomes America's favorite victim.
Gordy: Now, Will, Tevin is a great kid.
Will: Oh, no, no, no, this just business here.
Gordy: He's also my godson.
Will: Then you can be there for him. Why don't you sleep on it? Let that marinate a little bit, all right?