Vy: Y'all tell me, has Will been giving you any trouble?
Vivian: Oh, he's been wonderful, hasn't he, Philip? Philip?
Philip: Let's just say he takes after you, Vy.

Ashley: What dance is this?
Hilary: It's called the swim, Ashley. It was very popular in the 1940s.
Vy: The 1960s, and it's not the swim. Your daddy knows how to swim. Come on. Swim for her. Come on, Philip.
Will: Uh-oh, everybody out of the pool.

Will: Oh, Mom, you know who used to make the best cobbler? Old lady Ivory down the street. Does she still make it?
Vy: Oh, honey, she passed on.
Will: You're kidding.
Vy: Well, child, she was in her early 100s.
Will: Yeah, well, you'd have never known by the way she used to swing that baseball bat at me.

Carlton: Mom, Dad, I have a little favor. My English teacher doesn't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving tomorrow and I just thought, since he's all alone, and we have so much to share could we invite him to dinner?
Philip: Certainly, Carlton. That's very thoughtful.
Carlton: And not the worst way to pull my grade up to an "A."

Will: No, Mom, I'll get that for you.
Vy: Thank you, babe.
Will: Geoffrey! [Vy slaps the back of Will's head] Mom, what did I do?
Vivian: It's all right, Viola, Geoffrey clears the table. It's his job.
Geoffrey: You shouted, Master William?
Vy: Yes, Geoffrey. Why don't you have a seat and have some of this delicious peach cobbler while we clear the table.
Philip: Viola, don't go through so much trouble.
Vy: No trouble at all. Hilary, Carlton, Ashley, and you, Your Highness, let us all clear the table.
Carlton: [laughs] That's a good one.
Vy: Honey, do I look like I'm telling a joke?
Will: Not to me.
Vy: Well, don't just sit there watching. Pick up the dishes and get them into the kitchen. Now hustle.

Jesse: Is your aunt around? I want to know where to plant the bushes.
Will: I think she said she wanted them by the pool. Oh, could you do me a favor? My mom really likes roses. Can you snip a couple for her bedroom?
Jesse: No problem.
Vy: Wait a second. Honey, don't go bossing him around. If you want to cut me some flowers, you go get them yourself.
Will: But, Mom-
Vy: Understand?
Will: Okay, I'll cut you the most beautiful bouquet in the world but its beauty will pale in comparison to yours.
Vy: Don't even try that Prince Charming stuff. Jesse, listen, it's the day before Thanksgiving. Take the day off.
Jesse: Thanks. You going to be around here for Christmas?

Vivian: Is Jesse leaving? He didn't mow the lawn.
Will: Oh, Mom gave him the day off.
Vivian: What?
Will: Well, Aunt Viv, it's a holiday. It'll be cool if the grass grows for another week.
Vy: Oh, no. It's not growing 'cause you going to cut it.
Will: Why me?
Vy: You always mowed the lawn back home. I don't see why can't you do this one.
Will: 'Cause it's the size of a football field!
Vy: And since when do I have to ask you twice?
Will: But, Mom-
Vy: Now hustle.
Will: Okay, but I ain't going to cut you no flowers.

Vivian: Will, Carlton, Hilary, Ashley! Get down here! Hustle! Did you get the turkey?
Geoffrey: Certainly, madam.
Vivian: Geoffrey, it's frozen solid.
Geoffrey: Really, madam? I thought it was just scared.

Vivian: You are going to cook and serve Thanksgiving dinner.
Ashley: How?
Hilary: Why?
Vivian: Because you kids don't do enough work around the house.
Will: Excuse me? Didn't I just mow Central Park yesterday?
Carlton: Mom, my English teacher is coming to dinner. He holds my English grade in the palm of his hand. This is not the time for one of your leftist experiments.

Vivian: I'm sorry dinner's so late, Mr. Fellows.
Mr. Fellows: That's okay. I think in our society, we're too obsessed with time. Save time. Don't waste time. Be on time. What are we in such a hurry to do?
Philip: To eat.