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Talking Turkey

‘Talking Turkey’

Season 1, Episode 12 -  Aired November 19, 1990

When Will's mother, Vy (Vernee Watson), comes to town for Thanksgiving, she thinks the kids have it too easy.

Quote from Vy

Vy: Well, honey, I don't mean to be critical but I don't like what I saw today. Will's got a bunch of grown men doing all the work he should be doing. I haven't seen him lift a finger except to scratch his head.
Vivian: You're not being fair, Vy. Will works very hard at his homework.
Vy: Back home, Will did his homework, mowed the lawn, raked the leaves and cleared the table. I don't think a little work around the house is gonna interfere with his education. From what I see, all he's learning is how to be a rich kid.
Vivian: Philip and I just want Will to have the same advantages that our kids have. I mean, isn't that why you sent him out here?
Vy: I sent him out here to stay out of trouble and get a good education. But, Vivian, I also taught that boy the value of hard work and I don't want him to lose that. All I know is the kids in this house are getting a free ride. A free ride in a fancy car. But I don't mean to be critical.


Quote from Vy

Vy: Look at my boy. You really have changed.
Will: Yeah, I'm handsome.
Vy: No, you haven't changed. I hope he's not eating you out of house and home?
Vivian: Not at all.
Vy: [to Phil] He's certainly not taking any food out of your mouth.
Philip: Starting already. I don't believe it.
Will: [laughs] That's a good one, Mama. I got to use that one.
Vy: No, you don't make fun of your uncle. That's my job.

Quote from Vy

Hilary: What should I do with these bowls?
Vy: Just put them in the dishwasher.
Hilary: Here? [Carlton shrugs his shoulders]
Ashley: Well, let's just take them up to Geoffrey's room. He'll know what to do with them.
Vy: Lord, have mercy. Just leave them here. I'll take care of them. Now, go on. Honestly, I've never seen such a lazy bunch in my life and I work at the post office.

Quote from Vy

Vivian: How's everything at the post office?
Vy: They made me a supervisor.
Vivian: That's wonderful.
Vy: Honey, they make everybody at the post office a supervisor. You practically have to eat the mail not to get promoted.

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: "And so the men and women of Plymouth Colony sat at a long table with their new-found Indian friends to celebrate the first Thanksgiving. And at the head of the table, the leader of the pilgrims folded his hands, bowed his head and said--"
Will: [sings] Oh do me baby Do the humpty hump Do the humpty hump Oh dooo doo Do-o-o-o whoo
Geoffrey: And then the village idiot interrupted the prayer ruining the feast for one and all.

Quote from Philip

Vivian: Will, I bet you can't wait till your mom gets here.
Will: Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot for flying her out, Aunt Viv.
Vivian: We had to convince her to accept the ticket. She never lets us spend a penny on her.
Philip: Apparently, that's not a genetic trait.

Quote from Hilary

Vivian: Now, for Thanksgiving do you want to try something different or the traditional turkey?
Hilary: Mother, I have a big problem with turkey.
Ashley: What's wrong with it?
Hilary: Ashley, honey, from the moment they are hatched to the moment they're shrink-wrapped, turkeys are raised to be food, and nothing but food.
Will: Hilary, sweetheart, I don't think too many of them had aspirations to be doctors or lawyers.

Quote from Will

Will: All right, these are your assignments. I'll do the turkey. Ashley, you do the cranberry sauce. Carlton, you do the stuffing. Hilary, you do the yams and the rolls.
Hilary: Oh, I get two things? Why don't you just put a yoke around my neck and hitch me to a plow?
Will: [laughs] Hilary, I don't think it would be the worst thing in the world if you guys did some work around here. I mean, you guys are getting a fancy ride. A fancy ride in a free car.

Quote from Philip

Philip: Boy, holiday traffic is starting already. People are in such a lousy mood. I learned five new words on the way home.
Ashley: Did you know what they meant?
Philip: I think so, Ashley. They were accompanied by very helpful hand gestures.

Quote from Vy

Carlton: Aunt Vi.
Vy: Oh, my goodness, aren't you handsome? And looking less and less like your daddy every day.
Carlton: Ouch. Run for cover, Dad.
Will: Where's he going to hide at?

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