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‘Courting Disaster’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Courting Disaster

111. Courting Disaster

Aired November 12, 1990

Carlton feels overlooked when Will joins his basketball team and becomes the star player.

Quote from Geoffrey

Philip: Okay. Who knows, it might do him some good. Nothing like a little organized sport to straighten a guy out.
Geoffrey: Yes. It did wonders for Pete Rose.

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Quote from Hilary

Carlton: How was I in the basketball game last Friday?
Hilary: You were great. I mean, you didn't make any baskets or anything but you looked cute in your uniform. I think it's great how you don't get it too sweaty. I guess it's 'cause you don't run too fast. Smart move.
Carlton: Did Dad mention me during the game?
Hilary: Oh, yeah. He did turn around to the guy behind him once and say: "Shut up. That's my son you're talking about."
Carlton: Oh.
Hilary: It's Will, isn't it?
Carlton: No, no, no. It's not.
Hilary: Carlton, talk to me. Look, it's ridiculous to compare yourself to Will. You're captain of the debate team, a straight "A" student, you're leader of the glee club. So what if Will's good at basketball?
Carlton: Thanks, Hilary. That means a lot to me.
Hilary: And besides, if that basket were two feet lower you'd be just as good as he is.

Quote from Jazz

Vivian: Geoffrey, I'm surprised you decided to come. You're not a basketball fan.
Geoffrey: True, madam, but I have found that any game can be made interesting if you put a little money on it.
Philip: You bet on this game?
Geoffrey: $50 says Bel-Air wins it.
Hilary: Who'd take that bet?
Jazz: You rang, beautiful?
Vivian: Jazz, you bet against Will?
Jazz: Yeah. He screws up, I'm loaded.

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Thirty, forty, fifty! There.
Jazz: Thanks, man. Nice doing business with you.
Geoffrey: Oh, Mr. Jazz, the World Snooker Championship is coming on the sports station in a few moments. Would you care to place a wager?
Jazz: I don't know anything about snooker.
Geoffrey: Don't worry. I'll tell you everything you need to know.

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Good evening, sir. How was your day?
Philip: Oh, being a lawyer stinks, Geoffrey. No matter how good a job you do your clients still compare you to Harry Hamlin.
Geoffrey: Well, yes. The resemblance is quite striking.

Quote from Philip

Philip: Come on, baby. Get on the soul train.
Vivian: Oh, I love this kind of dancing, it makes you feel so young.
Male voice: [on radio] Doesn't that goIden oIdie take you way back? That was Papa's Got a Brand New Bag recorded 25 long years ago by James Brown the Granddaddy of Soul. We'II be right back after this message from Geritol.

Quote from Jazz

Will: And the Fresh Prince drives down the court. He stops, he pops, and it's... Yes!
Philip: No.
Vivian: Will, don't play inside. You might break something. Or something might break you.
Will: I'm sorry. You don't have a hoop outside. And Jazz is getting tired of standing on the second-floor balcony holding a pool skimmer.
Jazz: Come on, Prince, man. I know a playground in my neighborhood. 'Course we can only play half-court. They use the other end to sell stolen appliances.

Quote from Will

Vivian: Hold on. We don't want you playing there.
Philip: They have a perfectly good basketball court at the school. That's where Carlton is practicing.
Jazz: Carlton's on the basketball team? How do they do?
Vivian: Well, they try hard, but to tell you the truth, they haven't won a game so far.
Will: Aunt Viv, don't you think if we went down to watch them practice Carlton would be a little embarrassed?
Will & Jazz: Let's go.

Quote from Jazz

Headmaster: You two, come on over. I want you to meet somebody.
Will: Hey, Mr. Thorvald, straight up, about that fire alarm: I don't know who pulled it.
Headmaster: Forget about it. I'd like you to meet two of Bel-Air Academy's newest recruits. This is Will Smith and... Uh, your name is...
Jazz: Jazz, man.
Headmaster: Of course, Mr. Jazzman.

Quote from Will

Carlton: Okay, Will, this is gonna be fun. The coach asked me to go through the playbook with you.
Will: Carlton, your team doesn't need a playbook. They need a prayer book.

Quote from Geoffrey

Hilary: Guys, I'm trying to study. What are you doing?
Will: Keep away from Carlton.
Hilary: Oh, over here. Over here.
Geoffrey: Children, please! What if your parents witnessed this horseplay? Give me that chalk immediately.
Hilary: Keep it away from Carlton!
Will: Keep away from Carlton and Geoffrey.
Geoffrey: You've met your match, Master William.
[Geoffrey jumps up to grab the chalk from Will's hand.
Will: Geoffrey, get off me, man. As he and Will tussle, they fall back onto the couch]
Philip: Geoffrey?
Geoffrey: [stands up] May I get you something, sir?

Quote from Will

Philip: Will, how many times do I have to tell you that this is our living room? How'd you like it if I went up into your room and suddenly started throwing chalk around?
Will: I'd be devastated.
Philip: [shakes with anger] Out.

Quote from Vivian

Vivian: You singled Will out. They were all goofing around.
Philip: He was the mastermind, Vivian. Trust me.
Vivian: I just wish you'd be nicer to Will. Now, he joined the basketball team and you haven't said a word about it. Give him some credit.
Philip: All right. I see your point.
Vivian: Besides, I think it's a great opportunity for you two to find some common ground. After all, you were kind of a star athlete in college.
Philip: "Kind of a star athlete"?
Vivian: All right. You were a football god.

Quote from Hilary

Vivian: Hilary, I appreciate you coming tonight. I know you're not a big sports fan.
Hilary: Mother, please, it's Will's first game with the team. I'm proud of him. If I didn't show up to support him, what kind of cousin would I be?
Vivian: Well, I think it'll be three hours well spent.
Hilary: Three hours?

Quote from Will

[dream:]
Male voice: [v.o.] NBA superstar Isiah Thomas is used to having things his own way. But not today.
Isiah Thomas: How do you do it, Prince?
Will: Easy, Isaiah.
Male voice: [v.o.] Air Fresh gym shoes. Just pass it to Will.

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