Vivian: Sweetheart, do you know what day it is today?
Philip: Of course I do.
Vivian: So, what are we gonna do to celebrate?
Philip: Same thing we did last year, only better.
Vivian: Gee, Uncle Phil, how are you gonna top last year?
Philip: Well...
Carlton: [enters] Happy Valentine's Day.
Philip: Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart.

Will: "Valentines fun for you and your lover come sing at the Peacock for a 10 dollar cover."
Carlton: Neat, huh? And I rented a karaoke machine and everything.
Will: Gosh, for real? Aunt Viv, can I be excused from the table? I'm just too darned excited to eat.

Ashley: Hilary, can you drive me and my date to the movies tonight?
Hilary: Sorry, Ash, but I'm preparing dinner for my Valentine. [toast pops up] This is going to be a breeze.

Ashley: Will, couldn't you just drop us off and pick us up?
Will: Oh, I'm afraid that's a little bit of a problem, Ashley.
See, this girl that I'm dating tonight is kind of like a 6. 6 on the Richter scale so I wanna be there, you know, for all the aftershocks. You know what I mean?

Philip: I swear, I made that reservation a week ago.
Vivian: Philip, why don't you be a man and admit that you forgot Valentine's Day.
Philip: All right. I admit, I just forgot.
Vivian: How come you don't forget Thanksgiving?

Carlton: Hey, look who just floated in on cloud nine. Philip and Vivian Banks, two people, who, over the years, never stopped loving each other. I should know, my room was just down the hall.

Philip: Let's get out of here.
Vivian: Just...
Carlton: Hey, there, funny Valentines. How about a love song? [sings] Love boat Love, exciting and... [holds microphone to Philip] Come aboard. we're expecting... [holds microphone to Vivian] The love boat Hey son will be making another run... [holds microphone to Philip] Love Boat

Will: [British accent] We're here live at the St. Valentine's Day Open where Samantha Sackin is about to attempt a very difficult stroke. Wait a minute, it looks as though she's getting some help from her caddy.
Samantha: Will, I thought you were the announcer.
Will: Hush up, I'm trying to help you with your form.
Samantha: Stop, not in front of your cousin.
Will: Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right. Come on, let's go out to the car.

Old Man: Hey, Carl Lewis, put a move on it.
Will: Hey, take it easy, Pops, you'll be in a hole soon enough. That's a really nice outfit.

Hilary: You know, Geoffrey, just between you and me I was a little worried about making a whole dinner myself. But there's really nothing to it.
Geoffrey: Oh, Miss Hilary, could you pass me that heavy iron skillet over there?
Hilary: Hello. [shows her recently painted nails]
Geoffrey: How thoughtless of me.
[After Geoffrey grabs the skillet, he holds up it over Hilary's head]