Ashley: [sings] Hey, what you want Baby, I got it What you need Do you know I got it? All I'm askin' Is for a little respect when you come home Hey daddy When I home Oh, yeah I ain't gonna do you wrong while I'm gone
Ain't gonna do you wrong 'cause I don't wanna All I'm askin' Is for a little respect when I get home Oh, daddy
When I get home Yeah I'm about to give you all of my money And all I'm askin' in return, honey Is daddy give me my profits When I get home Oh, now When I get home All right R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me R-E-S-P-E-C-T Why can't you just trust me?
Carlton: Sock it to me, sock it to me Sock it to me, sock it to me
Ashley: A little respect

Philip: So who are we dating?
Ashley: Daddy, please. This is not going to help my reputation.
Philip: What's wrong with your reputation?
Ashley: You are. You gave every date I had the third degree. Boys will not even come near me at school without having a lawyer present.
Philip: Yes!

Will: Uncle Phil, check it out. There's been a slight change of plans. Ashley is gonna double with me and my girl.
Philip: Oh, no. I'm not gonna have my daughter involved in one of your wild evenings.
Will: We playing miniature golf. That'll be cool unless the church group shut that place down, you know?
Philip: And afterwards?
Will: Well, I was thinking we'd run some guns to Nicaragua, but we'll probably just come home.
Philip: All right, Will. She's in your hands. But if anything happens to her, those hands will be without fingers.
Will: Yes, sir. Lose my fingers, sir.

Ashley: Why does everyone treat me like I'm some defenseless little girl?
Will: Because you are, Ashley. I mean, boys is just gonna try to take advantage of you.
Ashley: That's my problem. Not yours or my father's. And you know what? I can handle it.
Will: Oh, yeah, right, like you can handle some big old dude trying to be all over you like cheese on a Big Mac.
Ashley: Will, maybe I like cheese.
Will: How you gonna like something you ain't never had? Please tell me you ain't never had no cheese, Ashley.
Ashley: No, but if I wanna have sex, I do not need your approval.
Will: It's cheese, Ashley.

Ashley: Gosh, it's getting warm out here.
Bryan: Why don't you take your jacket off?
Will: Ashley, hey, check it out... See... It's some killer bees coming from Mexico. And they could strike at any time. And they love teenage flesh.
Ashley: Thanks, but I'll risk it.
Bryan: Just don't worry, man, I ain't gonna let no bees get to this honey.

Hilary: Okay, so tell me again. Once the bread is in those little slots, you just slide the lever down?
Geoffrey: Fascinating, isn't it?
Ashley: Hilary?
Hilary: Not now, I'm learning how to cook.

Will: What is wrong with you, girl?
Ashley: Will, daddy is going to drive me and my date to the movies tonight.
Will: That doesn't sound like that's a big deal, Ash.
Ashley: Will, the last time daddy drove me and my date to the movies, he wound up sitting in the two seats behind us.

Philip: Ashley? I've circled the movies I feel are appropriate for you and your [chuckles] friend.
Ashley: Free Willy. Beethoven's 2nd? The Return of the Care Bears?
Philip: Oh, that was my first choice. Oh, but if your mother asks tomorrow, I didn't get any extra butter on my popcorn.

Samantha: They are really sweet together.
Will: What do you think he's saying to her?
Samantha: Probably the same thing you were saying to girls when you were his age.
Will: Heh. I doubt it. When I was his age, I was trying to get the girls to... No, no. He's just a little kid and so is Ashley.
Samantha: Not so little, Will. She is a beautiful girl. Didn't you see what the putter guy did?
Will: No, what did he do?
Samantha: He dropped her ball on purpose.
Will: Now, why would he do that, unless he was trying to check out her...? Hmm. No, look, that is not possible.
Samantha: Hey, when I was 15, it was possible.
Will: Oh, yeah, but you was a little freak though. No, no, I'm just saying things were a lot faster in them public high schools. She goes to Bel-Air Academy.
Samantha: I went to St. John's Parochial.
Will: Hmm. You still got that little dress and them shoes?

Will: She still ain't show up yet, Carlton?
Carlton: No, and I've been waiting over two hours.
Will: Hey, look, man, don't even be beating yourself up like this. Everybody gets stood up once.
Carlton: Once a month?