Philip: You've been working night and day. Come on, you've done your best.
Will: Yeah, I did my best and look what happened. [scoffs] I don't even know why Lisa wants to marry me.
Philip: Well, you got me there.
Will: You used to be a lot better at these little talks, Uncle Phil. I'm scared, man. I mean, what if I never get my life together?
Philip: You know, Will, I really did not wanna have to go here, but you're just gonna make me do it, huh?
Will: Hey, man, don't you think I'm a little old for a spanking?
Philip: You know, of all the kids, you give me the most grief. But you know what? You are the one that I never worry about.
Will: You mean that, Uncle Phil?
Philip: Yeah. Just don't tell anybody.
Will: Hey, wait, wait. Hey, man, I've got to tell Carlton. Look, I can catch him. Can I tell Carlton?
Philip: No, come on. Just let's go.

Will: Wait, um... [sighs] Look, Uncle Phil, man, um, you know, I just wanted... I wanna say, you know, because...
Philip: Yeah.
Will: Yeah, sure.
Philip: Me too.
Will: You know? You know- You know what I mean, right?
Philip: Yeah. Mm-hm. Sure.
Will: And they say guys can't express their true feelings. You know what I'm saying?
Philip: [laughs] That's ridiculous, isn't it? [both laugh] Okay, let's go.
Will: Look, I love you, Uncle Phil.
Philip: Let's jet.
Will: Oh, "let's jet." That was hip. Did you hurt yourself?