Philip Quote #406

Quote from Philip in Slum Like It... Not!

Philip: You've been working night and day. Come on, you've done your best.
Will: Yeah, I did my best and look what happened. [scoffs] I don't even know why Lisa wants to marry me.
Philip: Well, you got me there.
Will: You used to be a lot better at these little talks, Uncle Phil. I'm scared, man. I mean, what if I never get my life together?
Philip: You know, Will, I really did not wanna have to go here, but you're just gonna make me do it, huh?
Will: Hey, man, don't you think I'm a little old for a spanking?
Philip: You know, of all the kids, you give me the most grief. But you know what? You are the one that I never worry about.
Will: You mean that, Uncle Phil?
Philip: Yeah. Just don't tell anybody.
Will: Hey, wait, wait. Hey, man, I've got to tell Carlton. Look, I can catch him. Can I tell Carlton?
Philip: No, come on. Just let's go.

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 ‘Slum Like It... Not!’ Quotes

Quote from Will

Ashley: Daddy, why don't you hear Will out? He might say something you like.
Philip: Well, I guess you're right. My father always said there's no such thing as a bad idea.
Carlton: Yes. But your father never heard about fried-chicken-flavored aspirin. What did you call it again, Will?
Will: Rotisserie-gold-icillin.
Carlton: And let's not forget about his beepers that cough.
Will: Oh, now, wait a minute. That one could've worked. You just never thought it through enough, Uncle Phil. See, now check this out, you're sitting in a movie theater, your beeper go off. Instead of hearing beep, beep, beep, beep, you hear: [coughing and snorting] See? That's a lot less annoying, right?

Quote from Jazz

Carlton: Good Lord, who knows what kind of vermin are in here?
Jazz: How do?
Philip: I don't have time for you, Jazz. I have to meet with the head of the tenants association.
Jazz: Okay. But before I go, this'll make you laugh. Knock, knock.
Philip: Who's there?
Jazz: The head of the tenants association. That's me.
Will: But wait a minute. Jazz, you mean you're the person that's suing my uncle? Man, what were you thinking about?
Jazz: I'm just trying to protect your investment. After you put a couple of million dollars in this place, it'll be worth thousands.

Quote from Carlton

Will: Stop it, Carlton. Now, put it back in the fuse box, please. This is dangerous.
Carlton: Not if you know how to read. Look, it says touch here.
Will: Cool.
Carlton: But wait. There's more. "A town risk." What the heck does that mean? A town risk. [Will screams] Oh, at own risk. Sorry.