Will: Yo, Ty, give me a large pepperoni and two colas.
Ty: So we got your date covered. What you having?
Will: Hey, look, Ty. Come on, please. Don't even start. That is my friend, that's it.
Ty: All right, cool out, man, you know, 'cause it ain't my fault the babe's got more buns than a day-old bakery. That's all I'm saying.
Will: Hey, now, hold on. Now how you trying to play me?
Ty: l ain't trying to play you.
Will: You've seen the honeys that I've had up in here.
Ty: That's right. I can't figure out how a brother goes from T-bone to rump roast. That's all.
Will: Man, that girl is not my girlfriend.
Dee Dee: I'm not your friend, either.

Will: [on the phone] Hey, Dee Dee. Hey, this is Will. Pick up that phone, girl. Hey, Dee Dee, I ain't playing. Pick up the phone. Hey, Dee Dee, if you don't pick up that phone, I'm gonna have to... call you back. And I ain't afraid to do it, neither. Look, Dee Dee, I'm sorry about yesterday. I was tripping. I'll call you back later. Bye.

Carlton: [on the phone] Hi, Kelly. All ready for tomorrow night's big soiree? What do you mean you can't go? What kind of medical reason? A pimple? [Will spits his drink out] Kelly, that's no reason to stay home. Look, I have a pimple. Actually, I have two. Hello? [puts the phone down] That's it, my life is cursed. No tux, no shoes, no date. Okay, don't panic. There's got to be someone I can call. But what kind of girl is sitting home without a date for a Saturday night?
Will: [to himself] A great girl.

Claudia: So, anyway, Tiffany and Nica and I walk into the Yacht Club and we're the only ones in white. So Tiffany says, "Oh, my God! It's the day after Labor Day." And we just all wanted to die. [giggles] And that's a true story.
Will: Wow, have you sold the movie rights yet?
Claudia: I don't get it.

Will: Look, here comes Carlton. Come on in, C. You look cool, man.
Carlton: Well, maybe you're right. I probably don't look as bad as I think, huh?
Will: No, you got a sort of a Lou Rawls thing going there, man.
Claudia: Yes, Carlton, you do look top-notch, I must say so. Honestly, Will, if he sits with us, I'm leaving.
Will: Well, Claudia, what are you talking about? That's my cousin. [Claudia lowers her shawl] Well, it ain't like we brothers or nothing. Beat it, C.

Man: [on TV] Next to your faithful dog this Prince Albert pants-presser is a man's best friend. For just $39.95 your creases will be the talk of the town. And the attachments.
Geoffrey: Darn. That's what I should have ordered instead of that pinky ring.

Vivian: [enters] What is going on in here?
Ashley: Oh, we're shopping in the comfort of our home and we're saving money, too. How did they do it? "Volume."
Vivian: Philip, Dr. Black said you should be resting. I want everyone to leave.
Ashley: Bye, Daddy.
Philip: Bye, baby.
Hilary: Last one to the family room pays for all the shipping and handling.

Claudia: So there we are in a sailboat in the middle of the lake and I look down and Nica has on sandals instead of deck shoes. I mean, can you just imagine how I felt?
Will: Yeah, like jamming a fork in your hand, you know, just to make sure you're still alive.
Claudia: No, but that's okay. Look, I'm gonna go fix my hair. [exits]
Will: Cornflake, come on, come with me, man. You push her in. I'll flush.

Claudia: So that's when we realized that we were the only ones in white. And we just all wanted to die. [giggles]
Will: You know what color I really like?
Claudia: Huh?
Will: [puts straws up nose] Strawberry.
Claudia: I don't get it.
[meanwhile:]
Robert: ...and now that Beemer runs like a top.
Dee Dee: You know, I think that's really ex-straw-dinary!
Robert: I don't get it.

Will: Wait a minute. Hold it, Dee Dee. Would you ever wear white after Labor Day?
Dee Dee: If I can button it, and it's clean, I'll pretty much wear anything.
Will: My kind of honey.