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‘Banks Shot’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Banks Shot

122. Banks Shot

Aired February 25, 1991

When Vivian goes away for the weekend, Hilary is left in charge of the kids. Meanwhile, Will gets in trouble down at a pool hall.

Quote from Will

Will: How y'all doing? Hey, I just got my hair cut. Kind of fly, huh?
Philip: I don't understand why you get your hair cut like that.
Will: Come on, Uncle Phil, all the brothers in Philly play their hair like this. Hair on top, none on the sides. But, I guess y'all got kind of a reverse thing going on here.

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Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Hello. Rice Krispie Treats?
Carlton: What are you doing?
Hilary: Mom left me in charge, so I have to be responsible for all the children.
Carlton: We were in the middle of something.
Hilary: Come on, kids, let's have a little talk. [sits between Carlton & Michelle] Carlton, Michelle. I can remember what it was like to be your age. Your bodies are going through a lot of changes now and you're probably having a lot of feelings that you've never had before. But even though there's a lot of pressure from your peers, remember, you don't have to pet to be popular.
Michelle: Let's go to the mall.
Hilary: And who exactly is going to be at this mall?

Quote from Will

Will: Uncle Phil, I don't think all this legal stuff is going to work. The only legal phrase these people know is, "Will the defendant please rise."

Quote from Will

[Will imagines a devil-like version of himself on his left shoulder:]
Will: Hold up. You wasn't listening. Your uncle ain't say you couldn't go to the pool hall. He said he ain't want you to go to the pool hall. It's a difference.
[Will turns to his right shoulder, where another devil-like version of himself appears:]
Will: What are you, ignorant? Pick up the damn keys.

Quote from Philip

Philip: Wait a minute. Let's play another game. I want another chance.
Will: Uncle Phil!
Charlie Mack: I don't know. My time is very valuable. I couldn't possibly play another game without upping the ante.
Philip: How much?
Charlie Mack: Let's say, a nice, round figure like $100 a ball.
Philip: $100 a ball?
Charlie Mack: That's right, Uncle Phil.
Philip: Okay. $100 a ball. You got yourself a game. Geoffrey? Break out Lucille.

Quote from Geoffrey

Hilary: Excuse me, Mother, but I am very, very offended.
Vivian: What is it this time, Hilary? I've started recycling.
Hilary: That's not it. I mean, instead of making Geoffrey work on the weekend you should leave the running of this household to me. I mean, I am 21 years old. [drops magazine]
Vivian: I'm sorry, baby. I didn't think you'd want to run the household.
Hilary: Well, I've got to learn sometime. After all, in a couple of years, I'm going to have my own family and my own butler.
Geoffrey: I hope it's no one I know.

Quote from Will

Vivian: Will, I'm leaving.
Will: You're leaving? Finally. I always thought you could do better. Good luck.
Vivian: Will, I'm going to Berkeley to give my lecture.
Will: Oh, you are? When you coming back?
Vivian: Tomorrow night. Now, while I'm gone I want you to do everything your Uncle Philip says. [dramatic music]
Will: Whoa, Aunt Viv, wait. Don't leave me here. Don't leave me here with him! He's going to eat me. Don't leave me here.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Michelle, we're in luck. My mom's away for the weekend, our butler's off duty and my dad will be leaving for the office at any minute. And I, uh, just took a multivitamin.
Michelle: I really like this room, Carlton.
Carlton: You'll like it more in a minute. [dims lights; music plays] Michelle, I just wanted to say I think you're the most talented member on the swimnastics team.
Michelle: Well, I can hold my breath for long periods of time.
Carlton: Good. We're going under.

Quote from Philip

Philip: Will, I have a lot of work to do, so I'm gonna make this short and sweet. I don't want you taking our car downtown to some pool hall.
Will: You can't do this to me! Aunt Viv! Ooh, she's gone.
Philip: That's right, Will. No one can hear you scream.
Will: Come on, Uncle Phil. Just 'cause you don't like pool halls doesn't mean I shouldn't go. You're just trying to make sure I don't have any fun. Your only source of pleasure is making me unhappy.
Philip: That's not true. I have my wine collection.

Quote from Will

Louie: You can take him, kid.
Woman: Give him some, Will.
Will: Well, I really wouldn't want to do what I know I can do if you know what I mean.
Charlie Mack: No, I don't know what you mean. Why don't you tell me?
Fred: I know what he means.
Charlie Mack: You do?
Fred: It don't take a genius to understand the boy. He say in plain English that he didn't want to embarrass your ugly behind up here in front of these girls.
Will: I didn't-
Fred: And he also said that if it weren't for the fact that he had won so much from that fool over there, he'd take your money, too.
Will: Thank you very much for clearing that up for us, Fred.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Hi, sweetie, where are you going?
Ashley: Kimberly's mom is picking me up. I'm going to the party.
Hilary: What kind of party?
Ashley: Sarah's birthday party. Mom told you about it.
Hilary: And who's going to be there?
Ashley: Courtney, Priscilla, Maggie, David, Josh...
Hilary: Wait. Let's just hold it right there with David and Josh, young lady. I was not informed that there would be boys at this party. I really don't like the sound of this.
Ashley: But all my friends are going to be there.
Hilary: And if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it, too? [car horn]
Ashley: Oh, that's my ride. Bye.
Hilary: And no running in the house. You'll put your eye out.

Quote from Hilary

Will: Hilary, I'm in big trouble. I need your help.
Hilary: What's wrong?
Will: I just need $300.
Hilary: $300? What for?
Fred: Hey, young blood. Man! Y'all sure got it going on up in here.
Hilary: Will, who is he?
Will: Listen, Hilary, he's from the pool hall. I just lost a couple games and I need $300.
Hilary: You blew $300 and you don't even have a sweater to show for it?

Quote from Geoffrey

Philip: You went to the pool hall and lost the car?
Will: Uncle Phil, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know you told me that I shouldn't go. They hustled me. They're holding the car until I pay them their money. Uncle Phil, I'm really-
Philip: Stupid? I know that, Will. I'll deal with you later. We got to get that car back.
Will: Uncle Phil, you can't go down there by yourself. You can't handle those dudes. They got guys in there that make you look like Webster.
Geoffrey: If there are hooligans there, I should accompany you. In the early '80s, I was sparring butler for Mr. Chuck Norris.

Quote from Hilary

Vivian: Hi, Hilary.
Hilary: Mother, you're back. How was your trip?
Vivian: Fine. How was your weekend with the kids?
Hilary: It went great.
Vivian: Really?
Hilary: Mother, I've got to tell you, even though I wanted to do this deep down I had a lot of anxiety about taking on this kind of responsibility. But now that I've been through it, I can honestly say I handled it, I prevailed and now I think I'm ready to have children of my own.
Vivian: That's great, Hilary. So, where are the kids?
Hilary: What, you mean like now?

Quote from Hilary

Carlton: Thank God you're home!
Vivian: What's the matter?
Carlton: Hilary was a tyrant all weekend.
Ashley: She was terrible.
Carlton: Next time you go out of town, I beg of you, please just put food and water in a dish.
Hilary: Someday you'll have children of your own, and then you'll understand.

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