Philip: Can't play? You put the balls into the hole. How difficult can that be? I've seen it on TV.
Charlie Mack: That's right. All you got to do is put the balls in the hole, just like on TV. I'll tell you what. I'll let you break.
Philip: Geoffrey, get me one of those stick thingies.
Will: At least he's got the terminology down.
Geoffrey: Sir, do you think this is wise?
Philip: Don't be ridiculous, Geoffrey. It's simple geometry.

Will: Uncle Phil, can you just pay him and let's go?
Philip: No, no, no. I think I'm getting a lot better, don't you?
Louie: Oh, yeah, much better.
Fred: That's not how I see it. You still stink.
Geoffrey: I wouldn't talk.

Phil: $600, $700, $800, $900.
Fred: And 10% for his manager. [off Uncle Phil's look] Oh, it's gonna be like that, my brother after you done had me up in your house.
Philip: [to Charlie Mack] Let this be a lesson to you. Don't mess with my boy again. You mess with him, you're messing with me.
Will: [as they're walking out] Yeah!

Philip: How was your lecture?
Vivian: They loved it. How was your weekend?
Philip: Fine. I got a lot of work done. Finished up a little early tonight so Will and I had a chance to spend some time together. We had fun.
Vivian: You two got along? Oh, it figures you'd choose the weekend I was away. Well, I am exhausted and I am going to bed.

Will: How come you didn't tell Aunt Viv what really happened?
Philip: Because I don't want her to worry about it. It's between you and me.
Will: But do you think she'll put two and two together when the cops dig my body up.
Philip: Don't give me any ideas, Will. I just have one question. Why are you so hard-headed?
Will: Is that like a rhetorical question?
Philip: You know, a hard head makes for a soft behind.
Will: What, you're going to spank me?
Philip: You know the severity of what you did tonight. We're going to discuss your punishment tomorrow. Is that understood?
Will: Yes, sir. And, Uncle Phil? I just wanted to say thanks for coming to the pool hall and saving my butt tonight. You know, I ain't seen too many people shoot like that. Where did you learn?
Philip: Well, let's just say, I've spent time in a pool hall or two in my life. I know what goes on there. Which is why I don't want you going down there in the first place. You think I want to spoil your fun? I just want you to come home in one piece.
Will: That's decent. Oh, and I also want to thank you for winning my money back.
Philip: Your money? I'll play you for it.