Red Quote #437
Quote from Red in Over the Hills and Far Away
Eric: Hey. There's my favorite coed. Hey, are you all packed for Visitors Weekend?
Donna: I can't go. My dad's making me visit Marquette instead. He thinks it's a better school, 'cause it's private. Oh, and 'cause it sounds French.
Eric: Well, you know what? We'll just go with you. I mean, if it's a better school then I belong there too, right, Dad?
Red: No. State schools are cheap. That's where you belong.
Eric: Well, what if, like, you took out a second mortgage on the house? [Red and Hyde laugh]
Red: Not for you, dumbass.
Features in the collection: Red Forman: Dumbass Quotes.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Red Forman: Dumbass Quotes’
Quote from Red in The Battle of Evermore
Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.
Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell out of here.
Quote from Red in Sally Simpson
Red: You think my problem is my own son? My son is a fine young man.
Eric: Wow, Dad, you don't have...
Red: Shut up, dumbass. You know less about my family than you do about football! Which isn't saying much, since you dropped every pass that came near you! And let me tell you something else. When a real Packer hurts his leg, he stuffs his kneecap back in and keeps on running!
Eric: That's what this little mushroom would have done.
‘Over the Hills and Far Away’ Quotes
Quote from Red
Red: Hold it, you two. Now, before we hit the road, we need to have a talk about that horrible thing that's taken over your mother.
Eric: You mean, her "change of life"?
Hyde: Thought we were calling it "the lady-parts problem."
Red: It goes by many names. Now, we're dealing with a tricky enemy here. I haven't been this frosty since Korea. And just like a commie, it can jump out and attack you at any moment.
Kitty: [o.s.] Red, honey.
Hyde: Incoming!
Eric: Retreat!
Quote from Kitty
Kitty: Boys, um... Um, I realize that, uh... I may have been a little irrational today.
Kelso: A little?
Kitty: [screams] Shut up! [normal voice] So, um, maybe now is a good time for me to explain a few things to you about menopause. And, um, lucky for you, I'm a nurse, so I can use the proper terms, like "epithelial lining" and "uterine wall." [Eric groans]
Fez: I'm hooked.
Kitty: Okay, so. Um, now. Say these soaps are my ovaries.
Eric: Kill me now.
Hyde: Can't hear you, man. I'm on a beach in Florida.
Kitty: Okay, um, about a month ago, they stopped producing... [Kelso's game beeps] They stopped... [beeping continues] stopped producing- [game chirps] That's it! [throws Kelso's game] What is wrong with you? Were you dropped on your head?
Kelso: Yes, I was! And up until now, everyone had the good grace not to mention it.
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: Hey. Wait up.
Red: What do you want?
Kelso: The explanation's pinned to my lapel.
Red: "Dear Red. Mr. Kelso and I are unable to take Michael to U.W. Here's $30 so he can go with you." Where's the 30 bucks?
Kelso: Oh, I bought this "electronical" football game.
Red: I swear to God, Kelso! You make Eric look like Einstein.
Eric: Thank you, Daddy.
Kelso: "Thank you"? Einstein was ugly.