Red Quote #285
Quote from Red in Romantic Weekend
Red: So, you're allegedly tutoring Kelso in math.
Eric: Yes, sir.
Kitty: Are you good in math?
Red: What's the square root of "x"?
Eric: Um, I really can't answer that.
Red: Aha!
Eric: No. See, "x" is a variable, so until you define its parameters the only possible answer is a variable, or "x" if you prefer.
Red: Is that right?
Kitty: Sounds good. Will Michael's parents be home?
Eric: Yes.
Kitty: Are they as dumb as he is?
Eric: I can't lie. Yes. Yes, they are.
Red: Right answer. That was a trick question. I know they're dumb.
Eric: So, I can go?
Red: You can go, but I'll be watching the news. And if anything is vandalized or explodes or catches on fire, "x" is gonna equal me kicking your ass.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Romantic Weekend’ Quotes
Quote from Fez
Fez: Okay, Jackie, I have some really terrible news about Kelso that will make us both laugh a lot.
Jackie: Yeah. I already know. Pam Macy made this big announcement in gym.
Fez: [laughs] [chuckles] Jackie, this is where we both laugh a lot.
Jackie: Actually, Fez, I don't find it that funny. I kinda feel sad for him.
Fez: But you hate him. He totally screwed you over.
Jackie: Yeah, but he's grown up a lot since then. And he's suffered, and I'm over it by now. Poor Michael.
Fez: Poor Michael? Well, I see I have wasted my time talking to you. Good day, miss.
Jackie: Wait, Fez.
Fez: I said good day.
Quote from Eric
Hyde: I think what he's trying to say is the rabbit wouldn't come out of the hat.
Eric: The weasel wouldn't pop.
Hyde: The alphabet soup never spelled "go."
Kelso: Okay! All right! Enough!
Eric: Actually, not quite. There are a lot of Amish people but they never raised a barn.
Hyde: Forman, man, that was awesome.
Eric: Hey. It just came to me.
Fez: Oh, I get it. The barn is Kelso's pants.
Kelso: Okay! You guys, this is not funny! This is, like, a nightmare.
Fez: Yes. Eric, stop teasing. Kelso, I want you to know that I feel bad for you and that I am sorry... [shouts] you are not a man!
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: You guys. The weirdest thing just happened with Pam Macy.
Hyde: Kelso, man, she'll do that with any guy standing in front of her.
Kelso: Okay. So, I'm making out with Pam in the orchestra pit and everything is progressin' like normal until...
Fez: What?
Kelso: You know the really, really bad thing that can happen to guys when they're with girls.
Fez: Oh, did Mr. Cooper come in to buff the floor?
Kelso: No. Okay. Let me put it this way. The buffer wouldn't buff.
Fez: Poor Mr. Cooper.
Hyde: No, Fez.