Fez: Okay, Jackie, I have some really terrible news about Kelso that will make us both laugh a lot.
Jackie: Yeah. I already know. Pam Macy made this big announcement in gym.
Fez: [laughs] [chuckles] Jackie, this is where we both laugh a lot.
Jackie: Actually, Fez, I don't find it that funny. I kinda feel sad for him.
Fez: But you hate him. He totally screwed you over.
Jackie: Yeah, but he's grown up a lot since then. And he's suffered, and I'm over it by now. Poor Michael.
Fez: Poor Michael? Well, I see I have wasted my time talking to you. Good day, miss.
Jackie: Wait, Fez.
Fez: I said good day.

Hyde: I think what he's trying to say is the rabbit wouldn't come out of the hat.
Eric: The weasel wouldn't pop.
Hyde: The alphabet soup never spelled "go."
Kelso: Okay! All right! Enough!
Eric: Actually, not quite. There are a lot of Amish people but they never raised a barn.
Hyde: Forman, man, that was awesome.
Eric: Hey. It just came to me.
Fez: Oh, I get it. The barn is Kelso's pants.
Kelso: Okay! You guys, this is not funny! This is, like, a nightmare.
Fez: Yes. Eric, stop teasing. Kelso, I want you to know that I feel bad for you and that I am sorry... [shouts] you are not a man!

Red: So, you're allegedly tutoring Kelso in math.
Eric: Yes, sir.
Kitty: Are you good in math?
Red: What's the square root of "x"?
Eric: Um, I really can't answer that.
Red: Aha!
Eric: No. See, "x" is a variable, so until you define its parameters the only possible answer is a variable, or "x" if you prefer.
Red: Is that right?
Kitty: Sounds good. Will Michael's parents be home?
Eric: Yes.
Kitty: Are they as dumb as he is?
Eric: I can't lie. Yes. Yes, they are.
Red: Right answer. That was a trick question. I know they're dumb.
Eric: So, I can go?
Red: You can go, but I'll be watching the news. And if anything is vandalized or explodes or catches on fire, "x" is gonna equal me kicking your ass.