Kelso Quote #245
Quote from Kelso in Romantic Weekend
Jackie: Hey, Michael. I heard what happened with Pam. And I want you to know, that according to Cosmopolitan magazine, you're not a freak.
Kelso: Really?
Jackie: Mm-hmm. They say that, lots of times when it happens to a guy, it's not that he can't, it's just that he secretly doesn't want to.
Kelso: Okay, well, not to criticize but Cosmo's never seen Pam Macy naked.
Jackie: Michael, just think about it. Do you like Pam?
Kelso: Well, I like parts of her.
Jackie: Well, maybe that's not enough. And maybe your body's mature enough to realize that even if your brain isn't.
Kelso: Okay, well, you know, if this is about maturity then I want nothing to do with it.
Jackie: Look, Michael, don't worry, okay? When you find the girl you're meant to be with, you'll be able to do all the stuff you want. I promise.
Kelso: I hope you're right. Thanks, Jackie. [they hug] I'm back.
Jackie: What?
Kelso: Nothing. Good hug!
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Romantic Weekend’ Quotes
Quote from Fez
Fez: Okay, Jackie, I have some really terrible news about Kelso that will make us both laugh a lot.
Jackie: Yeah. I already know. Pam Macy made this big announcement in gym.
Fez: [laughs] [chuckles] Jackie, this is where we both laugh a lot.
Jackie: Actually, Fez, I don't find it that funny. I kinda feel sad for him.
Fez: But you hate him. He totally screwed you over.
Jackie: Yeah, but he's grown up a lot since then. And he's suffered, and I'm over it by now. Poor Michael.
Fez: Poor Michael? Well, I see I have wasted my time talking to you. Good day, miss.
Jackie: Wait, Fez.
Fez: I said good day.
Quote from Eric
Hyde: I think what he's trying to say is the rabbit wouldn't come out of the hat.
Eric: The weasel wouldn't pop.
Hyde: The alphabet soup never spelled "go."
Kelso: Okay! All right! Enough!
Eric: Actually, not quite. There are a lot of Amish people but they never raised a barn.
Hyde: Forman, man, that was awesome.
Eric: Hey. It just came to me.
Fez: Oh, I get it. The barn is Kelso's pants.
Kelso: Okay! You guys, this is not funny! This is, like, a nightmare.
Fez: Yes. Eric, stop teasing. Kelso, I want you to know that I feel bad for you and that I am sorry... [shouts] you are not a man!
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: You guys. The weirdest thing just happened with Pam Macy.
Hyde: Kelso, man, she'll do that with any guy standing in front of her.
Kelso: Okay. So, I'm making out with Pam in the orchestra pit and everything is progressin' like normal until...
Fez: What?
Kelso: You know the really, really bad thing that can happen to guys when they're with girls.
Fez: Oh, did Mr. Cooper come in to buff the floor?
Kelso: No. Okay. Let me put it this way. The buffer wouldn't buff.
Fez: Poor Mr. Cooper.
Hyde: No, Fez.