Red: Have you been in bed all day?
Eric: Yeah, I have. I've been reading the Jack Kerouac classic On The Road. See, as I see it, why get out of bed when you can read about people who got out of bed?
Red: You have got to be the laziest non-communist I've ever met. And you are about to read a book that my foot wrote. It's called On The Road To In Your Ass.

Red: I can't believe that is what you idiots have been doing in my basement all these years!
[The background behind Red and Kitty sways as Eric stares at them]
Red: I wish I had 2,000 feet so I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!

Donna: We don't need the keys. I'll hotwire that son of a bitch.
Randy: What's the big deal? I'll just ask Red if I can borrow the car.
Hyde: Uh, while you're at it, why don't you ask Red if your ass can borrow his foot?

Bob: [on TV] I'll always remember where I was when I heard the news that Fatso was stolen. I was reading the paper in the can. It was the same way with Kennedy.

Hyde: I remember my first crime. Grand theft tricycle. I did three days in the crib for that job.