Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.
Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell out of here.

Red: You think my problem is my own son? My son is a fine young man.
Eric: Wow, Dad, you don't have...
Red: Shut up, dumbass. You know less about my family than you do about football! Which isn't saying much, since you dropped every pass that came near you! And let me tell you something else. When a real Packer hurts his leg, he stuffs his kneecap back in and keeps on running!
Eric: That's what this little mushroom would have done.

Eric: So, Hyde, big job fair tomorrow. Oh, and you're in luck, 'cause I read that corporate America is experiencing a severe shortage of paranoid conspiracy nuts.
Hyde: I'm not a conspiracy nut, okay? My history, shop and gym teachers secretly started that rumor to discredit me.

Kitty: Where did you learn your parenting skills?
Red: Korea. Kitty, I am right about this.
Kitty: Red, you can't just force people to do what you want.
Red: Oh, see, that's one of those things that people say that's just not true. Like, "There's no place like home." Hell, I can think of a hundred places better than this.

Eric: How can Red do this to me? I swear to God, that man is always mad. I think the gene for joy might be stored in hair.
Donna: Well, there are a lot of angry bald men. Yul Brynner in The King and I.
Eric: Yes. Mr. Freeze from Batman. Remember that time Robin foiled his deep freeze-
Donna: Eric. What did we talk about?
Eric: Every time I reference Batman, I owe you a geek dollar.
Donna: Yes. Thank you.