Eric Quote #842

Quote from Eric in It's Only Rock and Roll

Eric: Look, Mom, maybe you should stop worrying about everyone else so much and start thinking about yourself. Maybe you should find something to enrich your life. Oh, may I suggest the teachings of the Jedi?
Red: And may I suggest the footing of your ass?
Eric: This is not the ass you're looking for. See, now you don't know what to do.

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Features in the collection: Red Forman: My Foot in Your Ass.

‘Red Forman: My Foot in Your Ass’ Collection

Quote from Red in Till the Next Goodbye

Red: I can't believe that is what you idiots have been doing in my basement all these years!
[The background behind Red and Kitty sways as Eric stares at them]
Red: I wish I had 2,000 feet so I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!

Quote from Red in No Quarter

Red: You know, it occurs to me that since I paid the allowance that bought those records in the first place, that money's mine.
Eric: Well, it occurs to me that possession is 9/10ths of the law.
Red: Keep up with the smart mouth, and my foot will be 9/10ths of the way up your ass.
Hyde: You know, Forman, you should write a book: Things My Father Threatened To Put In My Ass. "Chapter One: His Foot." I'd buy that.

Quote from Red in On with the Show

Red: Have you been in bed all day?
Eric: Yeah, I have. I've been reading the Jack Kerouac classic On The Road. See, as I see it, why get out of bed when you can read about people who got out of bed?
Red: You have got to be the laziest non-communist I've ever met. And you are about to read a book that my foot wrote. It's called On The Road To In Your Ass.

 ‘It's Only Rock and Roll’ Quotes

Quote from Red

Kitty: I am making this space my tai chi area.
Red: So, you're going to be out here, and I'll be in there alone? I love tai chi. Eric, I got a job for you. Go grab some cement and secure that Bob statue.
Eric: Okay, if that's a job, then how much does that pay?
Red: It pays my foot not going in your ass.
Eric: So it's on credit, then. Good.

Quote from Midge

Kitty: What are you two doing?
Donna: It's tai chi. It's an ancient form of exercise and meditation.
Midge: It originated in the Far East, in a place called Los Angeles.

Quote from Bob

Kitty: I really don't see what the big deal is, Bob.
Bob: We brought this tray over to you full of cookies. You should have brought it back full of cookies. That's all I'm saying.

 Eric Forman Quotes

Quote from Till the Next Goodbye

[circle:]
Eric: Crap, it's almost time for me to go get my shots. Yeah, why do I have to get shots anyway? So I get Yellow Fever. I could use a little color.
Fez: You guys, this might be our last circle together. We're growing up. I mean, these two have jobs, and Eric is off to start his life, and I'm doing more shaving than ever.
Kelso: Eric, I know you're scared of getting your shots. So I'm gonna be a pal and get them with you, 'cause I owe you for that time that I chucked that dead raccoon at you, and then it turned out to not be dead. And then it bit you, and then you kicked it back at me, and then it bit me, and then we both had to go and get rabies shots.
Hyde: [laughs] Remember, on the way to the hospital, Kelso saw that dog, and he jumped out of the car 'cause he wanted to go pet it, but he forgot the car was moving, and he broke his arm? That was the funniest, bloodiest, most rabies-filled day ever.
Eric: Look at us. Best friends offering to help each other. You know, we always have to remember this moment.
[As Red stands behind Eric in the circle, Fez, Kelso and Hyde look up in awe]
Eric: What?
Red: Upstairs, now.
Eric: I am in huge trouble. [laughs]

Quote from (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction

Eric: Okay, you guys, I made a list of all the things I wanna do on my year off. Check out number five.
Fez: "Jump into my car through the window like the Duke boys."
Eric: No, no, no, no. No, I already did that. That should be crossed off. Number six.
Donna: "Vandalize a local business"?
Eric: Yes, and today I happened to see an out-of-business muffler shop. Imagine the muffler shop signs with the "L-E-R" scratched off the word "muffler."
Donna: Eric, no, that's gross.
Fez: What's gross? I don't get it. I want to know what's gross.
Eric: Replace your old "muffler" without the "ler."
Fez: "Replace your old muff..." Oh, I get it. I get it.

Quote from Whole Lotta Love

Hyde: Forman, why'd you have to tell Red you got engaged? Look at him, yelling and waving. Oh! A little spit just landed on Bob. Bob's so scared, he's not even wiping it off.
Eric: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This time Red is really gonna kill me. My only hope is that he actually sticks his foot so far up my ass... he can't pull it out, and I get to take him straight to hell with me.