Kelso Quote #681
Hyde: Hey, so, how do you plan on steering this thing on land?
Kelso: [holds up oar] Duh.
Fez: Kelso, I think you should wear a helmet just in case anything goes wrong.
Kelso: Fez, I'm riding an open canoe down a rocky mountainside. What could possibly go wrong?
Hyde: I think I'm with Fez on this helmet thing.
Kelso: Oh, no, I'm not falling for that one.
Hyde: Falling for what?
Kelso: The old helmet gag.
Hyde: Kelso, I just want you to protect your head from being crushed like a berry.
Kelso: Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Now, let go of the ropes and watch me fly!
Fez & Hyde: One, two, three.
Kelso: Whoo-hoo! [canoe doesn't move] Whoo-hoo! [canoe still doesn't move]
[When Kelso steps out of the canoe and throws the oar inside, the canoe slides down the mountainside]
Kelso: Oh, man! Stupid thing. Oh! Oh, man, that could've been me!
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Sparks’ Quotes
Quote from Eric
Eric: All right, fine. Can we look at our ring inscriptions, or is that bad luck, too?
Donna: Well, no, that I have to look at so I can return it in case you wrote something stupid.
Eric: "To Eric, love Donna." Well, it's not stupid. It's short. It's terse. Quite possibly even a little rude.
Donna: "All my friends know the low rider." [chuckle] Um, I don't get it. Am I the low rider? Wait. What do you mean all your friends know me? Are you saying I'm a whore?
Eric: No, no, Donna. Low Rider is the song that was playing in the car at the end of our first date. Remember, you wore that red dress, and at the end of the night I kissed you, and I remember thinking, I just... You know, "I just can't believe she's with me."
Donna: Eric, that is the most romantic thing I've ever heard. Take your pants off.
Eric: And that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
Quote from Red
Red: Kitty, I think I've got it this time. For my wedding present for Eric, one of my medals from the war.
Kitty: No.
Red: How about my uniform from the war?
Kitty: No.
Red: My gun from the war?
Kitty: No.
Red: My boots from the war?
Kitty: No.
Red: My canteen from the war?
Kitty: No. It can't be anything you had on or near you when you killed somebody.
Red: How about the ring my dad wore?
Kitty: Oh, that's nice.
Red: When he killed people in World War I.
Kitty: Well, now you're just trying to make me mad.
Red: Yeah, I am.
Quote from Kitty
Kitty: Fine, Red. Since you blew the money, I expect you to come up with a nice sentimental gift for Eric that doesn't cost anything. Well, that's what you get for going out and drinking. Maybe one day you'll learn to stay at home and drink, like me.