Jonah: Hey, come here and check it out. Salt scrub, essential oils, deep tissue rub-down. For 900 bucks, they basically treat you like a brisket.
Amy: For 900 bucks minus the 80 or so I may have given to Cheyenne for diapers.
Jonah: You suck at being selfish.
Amy: Look, $820.00 is plenty to have a nice day at the spa. And every single penny of that money is going to this girl.
[cut to:]
Cheyenne: Amy found $900.00! What should we all do with it?
Amy: In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn't have told her how much we found.
Jonah: You should've just fixed your mom's crisper.

Tate: Uh, hey, don't get up. Uh, are you the one I'm supposed to talk to about changing the water cooler in the pharmacy?
Garrett: Nah, man.
Tate: Oh, I'd do it myself, but not waterproof. It's heavy though, you wanna try it on?
Garrett: Nah, I'm cool.
Tate: [chuckles] Don't be shy. My other one's better, of course. Wouldn't wear it here. Way too expensive.
Garrett: [as Dina walks by] What it do, Pikachu?
Dina: Ugh.
Tate: Well, that was weird.
Garrett: No, it wasn't weird. It was completely normal. Everything... I'm chill, man.
Tate: Okay.

Man: Hey, excuse me, uh, my son is taking dishes off the shelves and smashing them on the floor. Can you, uh, stop him? I don't want him to think of me as a bad guy.
Amy: Um, let me find someone to help you with that. Where is everybody?

Sandra: Guess what. I found the guy who lost the $900. [all grumble] Whoa, it looks great in here.

Stuart: Thank you so much for calling me. I work with my church counseling at-risk youth, and this was the money I'd gotten together to organize a field trip to Peru.
Amy: I'm sorry, I just think it's a little suspicious that you have this perfect excuse planned out for why you needed the money, and it just so happens to make you look like a nice guy.
Cheyenne: Yeah, if the shorts are really yours, what else was in the pockets?
Stuart: Oh, um, I think that day I'd taken away a bit of a joint from one kid, and some dirty pictures from another one.
Tate: Nice.
Dina: Then why don't you explain the dip, huh? What about the dip?
Stuart: I use dip.
Dina: That checks out.
Amy: It's a good try.
Dina: Thank you.
Stuart: Can I just say? You guys have a really nice break room.
Amy: We did.

Glenn: I mean, I did everything I could. Just some people just don't want to be cheered up. Maybe it's just the time of year.
Amy: Adam's sleeping in the basement. Yeah. I told him I wasn't happy. I don't know what I expected him to say, but he said, "I'm not happy either," which is definitely not what I expected him to say. And, so, we talked about it, and then we yelled about it, and then we just stopped talking. And now it's all weird and tense and Emma's all upset and it's just... it's miserable.
Glenn: Amy, I am so sorry. Do you want a balloon animal?
Amy: No, thank you. It is kind of nice to talk about it though.
Glenn: Well, talk away.