Frank Costanza: It's made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.
Kruger: I find your belief system fascinating.

Elaine: Oh, I got denim vest checking me out. [laughs] Fake phone number's coming out tonight.
Jerry: You have a standard fake?
Elaine: Mm-hmm. Spells out NO-ELAINE.
Jerry: Isn't that eight letters?
Elaine: The extra E is for euch.

George: Hey How'd it go with that girl?
Jerry: Great, I'm going out with her tomorrow night. How'd it go with the cocktail franks?
George: Great. I ate the entire platter. Had to call in sick today.
Jerry: Didn't you call in sick yesterday?
George: Hey, I work for Kruger Industrial Smoothing: "We don't care, and it shows."

Elaine: Oh, nothing for me. I'm going to "Atomic Sub" later.
Jerry: "Atomic Sub"? Why are you eating there?
Elaine: I got a card, and they stamp it every time I buy a sub. 24 stamps, and I become a submarine [salutes] captain.
Jerry: What does that mean?
Elaine: Free sub.

Kramer: Hey, neighbor.
Jerry: Are you reading my VCR manual?
Kramer: Hey, we can't all be reading the classics, Professor High Brow.

Elaine: Oh, I can't believe it. I've lost my "Atomic Sub" card. Oh, no. I bet I wrote that fake number on the back of it when I gave it to denim vest.
Jerry: So?
Elaine: I've eaten 23 bad subs, I just need 1 more. It's like a long, bad movie, but you want to see the end of it.
Jerry: No, you walk out.
Elaine: All right, then, it's like a boring book, but you gotta finish it.
Jerry: No, you wait for the movie.
Elaine: I want that free sub.

Jerry: You don't need the card. High-end hoagie outfit like that, it's all computerized. [snaps] They're cloning sheep now.
Kramer: No, they're not cloning sheep. It's the same sheep. I saw Harry Blackstone do that trick with two goats and a handkerchief on the old Dean Martin show!

Kramer: Ah, gentlemen. Bagels on the house!
Jerry: How was your first day?
Kramer: Oh, fantastic! [Jerry and George both pick out a bagel] It felt so good to get my hands back in that dough.
[Jerry and George stop before taking a bite of their bagels]
Jerry: Your hands were in the dough?
Kramer: No, I didn't make these bagels. [Jerry and George both take a bite] Yeah, they're day-olds. The homeless won't even touch them. [Jerry and George stop eating] Oh, we try to fool them by putting a few fresh ones on top, but they dig... They... They test.

George: Uh, well, I'm out of here.
Jerry: Happy Festivus!
Kramer: What's Festivus?
Jerry: When George was growing up...
George: No!
Jerry: His father...
George: Stop it! It's nothing. It's a stupid holiday my father invented. It doesn't exist!
Elaine: Happy Festivus, Georgie.
George: God!

Kramer: Ah, listen, Harry, I need the 23rd off.
Manager: Hey! I hired you to work during the holidays. This is the holidays.
Kramer: But it's Festivus.
Manager: What?
Kramer: You know you're infringing on my right to celebrate new holidays..
Manager: That's not a right.
Kramer: Well, it's going to be. Because I'm going back on strike. Come on, Elaine. [takes apron off] It's a walk out!
Elaine: No, I got to stay here and wait for the call.
Kramer: What? You're siding with management?!
Elaine: No, I just..
Kramer: Scab! Scab! Scab!