‘The Serenity Now’
Season 9, Episode 3 - Aired October 9, 1997
George goes into business with his father who has a new method to lower his stress. Kramer turns the space in front of his apartment into a slice of rural America. Meanwhile, Jerry's girlfriend is upset that he never shows his emotions, and Elaine attends Mr. Lippman's son's bah mitzvah.
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: Anytown, U.S.A. Hello? Is Kramer home? Oh, hey.
Kramer: [sprays his flowers] Hello, neighbor.
Jerry: Boy, those azaleas are really coming in nicely.
Kramer: Oh, you gotta mulch. You've got to.
Jerry: You barbecuing tonight?
Kramer: Right after the fireworks. [knocks wind chimes]
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: [holding a sparkler] Hey, buddy!
Elaine: Hey. Happy New Year!
Kramer: Y'all come back real- [Elaine closes Jerry's front door]
Quote from Jerry
Elaine: Did you and Patty just break up?
Jerry: Yeah! In fact, she broke up with me! And I don't want to talk about it!
Elaine: Well, then you're free tonight. You know what, I heard about this great place called La Caridad.
Jerry: [emotional] That's the last thing she said to me. She wanted to go there also, but I wasn't in the mood.
Elaine: Whoa. What is the matter?
Jerry: It's Patty.
Elaine: Jerry, you break up with a girl every week.
Jerry: What- What is this salty discharge?
Elaine: Oh my God. You're crying.
Jerry: This is horrible! I care!
Quote from George
Elaine: So now the other Lippman kissed me.
George: Well, sure. They're Jewish, and you're a shiksa.
Elaine: What?
George: It means a non-Jewish woman.
Elaine: I know what it means, but what does being a shiksa have to do with it?
George: You've got "shiks-appeal". Jewish men love the idea of meeting a woman that's not like their mother.
Elaine: Oh, that's insane.
Quote from Frank Costanza
Frank Costanza: You single-handedly brought Costanza and Son to the brink of bankruptcy.
George: Well, what about all the Lloyd Braun sales?
Frank Costanza: He's crazy. His phone wasn't even hooked up. He just liked ringing that bell.
Estelle Costanza: [enters] I told you to clean out this garage. I have to put my car in!
Frank Costanza: This is a place of business. I told you never to come in here. Serenity now!
Estelle Costanza: All right.
George: Dad, you really should lay off the serenity now stuff.
Frank Costanza: So, what am I supposed to say?
George: 'Hoochie mama'?
Estelle Costanza: [garage door opens] Move your crap, I'm comin' in!
Frank Costanza: No you're not! Hoochie mama! Hoochie mama!
Quote from Frank Costanza
Estelle Costanza: [o.s.] Get George to put those boxes in the garage.
George: Dad, what is all this?
Estelle Costanza: It's junk.
Frank Costanza: My computers. I've been selling them for two months now. [to Estelle in the other room] Shut up!
George: You're selling computers?
Frank Costanza: Two months ago, I saw a provocative movie on cable TV. It was called The Net, with that girl from the bus. I did a little reading, and I realize, it wasn't that far-fetched.
George: Dad, you know what it takes to compete with Microsoft and IBM?
Frank Costanza: Yes, I do. That's why I got a secret weapon. My son.
Quote from Jerry
George: I got to go out to my father's garage, help him sell some computers.
Jerry: What? The two of you working in that garage is like a steel cage death match.
Quote from Jerry
George: Why does she want you to be mad?
Jerry: She says I suppress my emotions.
George: So, what do you care what she thinks?
Jerry: Good body.
George: She probably gets that impression because you're cool. You're under control. Like me. Nothing wrong with that.
Jerry: But I get upset, I've yelled. You've heard me yell.
George: Not really. Your voice kind of raises to this comedic pitch.
Quote from Jerry
Kramer: [enters] Hey.
Jerry: Kramer, I am so sick of you coming in here and eating all my food. [high-pitched] Now shut that door and get the hell out of here!
Kramer: [laughing] What is that, a new bit?
George: I told you.
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: Hey, listen, what are you doing Saturday night?
Jerry: Not going to the Knick game.
Elaine: I need someone to go with me to Mr. Lippman's son's Bar Mitzvah.
Jerry: You know, if you don't bring a guest they save on catering. You should be able to buy a cheaper gift.
Elaine: [takes out Boggle] Oh, I don't think that's possible.