Elaine: Oh, hi Fred.
Fred: Um, hello?
Elaine: It's Elaine.
Fred: Oh yeah, yeah, right.
Elaine: How you doing?
Fred: I'm depressed. I got this new shirt. The button fell off. Once the button falls off, that's it. I'll never fix it.
Elaine: Yeah, that's too bad.
Fred: Yeah, I'm gonna get some vitamins, I feel depleted.
Elaine: Hmm. I never take them.
Fred: Cause they make you nauseous, right?
Elaine: Yeah! Yeah, that's right, you remembered!
Fred: Do you wanna have dinner tonight?
Elaine: Hmm. Tonight.
Fred: What, do you have other plans?
Elaine: No, no, no, no. None that I can, um, remember.

Jerry: So, is Elaine here?
J. Peterman: Oh, Elaine just called, she won't be joining us. Not to worry, I'll tell the maitre'd it'll just be the three bulls. [walks away]
George: What's going on? He still wants to have dinner with us?
Jerry: Without Elaine? What for?
George: What, is he crazy?
Jerry: We gotta get out of here. Come on, weave your web, liar man.
George: I've got nothing, I-I-I-I'm blank.
Jerry: George, what's the matter with you?
George: I'm choking!

Jerry: [on the phone] I can't believe you blew us off. We were doing you the favor.
Elaine: Well, Fred asked me out.
Jerry: Fred?
Elaine: Yeah, and then he stood me up. I don't get this guy.
Jerry: You see what's going on here? You're attracted to him because he can't remember anything about you.
Elaine: I am? But that's so sick.
Jerry: That's God's plan. He doesn't really want anyone to get together.
Elaine: Anyway, so how was the dinner?
Jerry: Well, when I heard you weren't coming I made up and excuse and got the hell out of there.
Elaine: What about Georgie?
Jerry: Nah, he didn't make it.

George: What was that?
Elaine: What?
George: You just checked your watch. Are you thinking of bailing on him?
Elaine: I got a date.

Elaine: Oh, Mr. Peterman.
J. Peterman: Oh, Elaine. George, when mama said 'Bosco' she must have been trying to communicate something. Her legacy. A dying wish perhaps.
George: Mothers say things. My mother goes babbling on and on like a crazy person.

Elaine: Mr. Peterman, you have my deepest sympathies. Unfortunately, I've gotta get going.
J. Peterman: You do?
George: Uh, yes, actually we-we both do.
Elaine: I have a personal commitment.
George: Well, personal, I mean, we both...
J. Peterman: What is it?
Elaine: I'm speaking at a women's rights conference.
George: Yes, and I'm speaking at a men's conference.
J. Peterman: I don't believe that for a minute. Well, Elaine, it was good of you to stop by.
Elaine: My pleasure.
J. Peterman: Fortunately, I still have George here to help me through this.

Jerry: Anyway, thanks for having me back, and sorry about the misunderstanding.
Leapin' Larry: Water under the bridge. Come on, I never did get a chance to show you around the store.
Jerry: Oh. sure.
[Jerry stands up to find his leg is asleep again.]
Jerry: Uh, again? [limping] I'll be right there.
[As Jerry stomps his foot on the floor a few times by the door, he accidentally knocks over a can of flammable liquid which spills onto exposed electrical wires]

Fred: Sorry about the other night but my mother called, she couldn't find her pills. I had to go into Brooklyn to help her find her pills, and they were right there in the medicine cabinet. Could you believe that?
Elaine: Huh.
Fred: The worst part is getting from the subway station to the house. There's no transportation...
Elaine: [inner monologue] What am I doing? I'm on a date with this guy because he didn't remember me? He's demented. Listen to him.
Fred: Of course, I could have taken a cab but if my mother saw me pull up in a cab, she'd start yelling at me, "Freddy! What are taking a cab for? It's so expensive!" She's out of her mind. Eventually, you'll meet her.

Captain: Gonna make a left onto Broadway.
Kramer: [over radio] No, I would advise against that.
Captain: Who is this?
Kramer: [on another fire truck] It's Kramer!
Captain: Kramer?! What the hell are you doing back there?
Kramer: DeSoto's down, but Cosmo's got the caboose.