Susan Ross: I want you to tell me, George.
George: Why? Why is my code so important?
Susan Ross: Because, it's part of our relationship. It's an indication of trust. We're not supposed to keep secrets from one another.
George: Well, I'm sure you have secrets from me. I don't know anything about your cycles.
Susan Ross: My cycles?
George: Yeah, I never know what's going on there.
Susan Ross: Well, from now on I'll keep you apprised of my cycles.
George: Please.
Susan Ross: Anything else?
George: We're out of Bosco!

Kramer: Boy, look at that. See, that's that fire I was listening to yesterday.
Jerry: Wow, the whole building burned down.
Kramer: They just don't know what street to take. You remember that time I got us to Yankee Stadium in rush hour in fifteen minutes?
Jerry: Of course.
Kramer: It's all up here, Jerry. All up here. It's innate.
Jerry: The amazing thing is you never have any place to go.

Jerry: All right, you're locked up in a prison in Turkey, I have your wallet. The only way I can bribe the guards to get you out is for you to give me your ATM code.
George: Call the Embassy.
Jerry: They're closed.
George: Why?
Jerry: Bomb threat.
George: We're in Turkey?
Jerry: Midnight Express, my friend.
George: My card won't work there. They're not on the PLUS system.

J. Peterman: You must be Jerry Seinfeld.
Jerry: Yes, hi, Mr. Peterman. This is, uh, George Costanza.
J. Peterman: J. Peterman.
George: [grabs lapels] J. Crew.

J. Peterman: Ah, Fong has been most accommodating. Shall we?
Jerry: Actually, you know, I just remembered I promised this comedy club that I'd do a set tonight, so, terribly sorry.
J. Peterman: I understand. No hard feelings. George and I will miss your company. Fong? It will just be two this evening. George, we dine.

George: You know, this is very nice, but I really could take a cab. Really.
J. Peterman: Ha ha, nonsense, George. Besides, it gives me a chance to tell you about my latest trip to Burma, where I discovered a very unusual corduroy. [answers car phone] Peterman here. What? Oh no. All right, I'll be right there. [to George] It's my mother. She's at death's door.
George: What?
J. Peterman: I just pray to God we can make it there in time.
[As Peterman makes a swift U-turn, George's face is slammed up against the passenger window]

J. Peterman: Doctor, how is she?
Doctor: She's too weak to talk, but she'll be happy to hear your voice.
J. Peterman: Mama, it's me. Jacopo. I'm here for you, Mama.
[Peterman's mother looks over at George]
George: I'm, uh, George Costanza. I was having dinner with your son. [waves]

J. Peterman: Shake off the dew, my friend.
George: Oh, man. What time is it?
J. Peterman: It's morning. Thanks for seeing me through the night. I'll make us a pot of coffee, George. Watch her, won't you?
George: Who?
J. Peterman: Mama. Just talk to her, George. The doctor seems to think it helps.

George: You know, this whole thing never would have happened if you hadn't bailed out on me at the restaurant.
Jerry: I did not bail out on you.
George: Well, why couldn't you include me in your excuse?
Jerry: Why didn't you come up with your own?
George: I froze. I think I'm losing it.
Jerry: Ah, come on. Maybe you're just in a slump?
George: No, no. I reached down and there was nothing there.

Kramer: Hey, you wanna come down the fire station with me?
Jerry: Fire station?
Kramer: Yeah, I made a map of my shortcuts. I'm gonna rock their world!
Jerry: Nah, I gotta go down to Leapin' Larry's.
Kramer: Oh, so he took you back.
Jerry: Yeah, we straightened it out, all is forgiven.
Kramer: Well, you know the important thing is that you learned something.
Jerry: No, I didn't.