George: Uh, my back is killing me.
Jerry: Of course. Because of that wallet. You-you got a filing cabinet under half of your ass.
George: This is an organizer, a secretary, and a friend.
Elaine: Look at you. You're on a slant.
George: Here, just give me a couple of napkins. [stuffs napkins in the other pocket] There, there I'm fine.
[Suddenly, there's a cracking sound and George slants in the other direction]
Jerry: What was that?
George: I think I had some hard candy in there.

Keri: Do me a favor. Can you hold this stuff for me?
Jerry: Compact, lipstick, all this?
Keri: And can you help to carry my keys?
Jerry: What are you, a medieval dungeon master?
Keri: And a tin of Altoids.
Jerry: Ow! Sharp key.

Kramer: So, you're sleeping with Silvio's wife?
Newman: Well, there's very little sleeping going on.
Kramer: Well, why didn't you tell me about this?
Newman: Quite frankly, I don't see how it's any of your business.
Kramer: Well, it's my business now. Look, I stuck up for you. Man, if he catches you, we're both out.
Newman: Hey, what is that up that tree?
Kramer: Hoooh! Man, that looks like a dead bear.
Newman: No, that's a fur coat! Hey, uh, give me a boost.
Kramer: Man, where did you learn to climb trees like that?
Newman: The Pacific Northwest.

Elaine: So, you had to carry some of Keri's stuff. Big deal.
Jerry: You don't understand. I went on a successful pocket diet, and I want to keep that weight off.
Elaine: You know what? We sell this thing at Peterman that would be perfect for you.
Jerry: Not more of that crap from the Titanic?
Elaine: No. No. It's a small men's carryall.
Jerry: I'm not carrying a purse.
Elaine: It's not a purse. It's European.
Jerry: Oh.

Elaine: Well, I guess I better go and price fur coats.
Kramer: Oh, go down to 88th Street. They're free.
Elaine: What are you talking about?
Kramer: Well, they're hanging from the trees. You know, Newman found one there yesterday. Man, that guy can climb like a ring-tailed lemur!
Elaine: 88th Street? That's where Joe Mayo lives. That's the coat! [pushes Kramer]
Jerry: What was that pop sound?
Kramer: Well, I had some hard candy in there.

Elaine: Uh, yeah. Uh, no. Newman, uh, I heard that you found a fur coat in a tree. And, I believe that it belongs to a friend of mine, and I'd like to give it back to him.
Newman: Sorry. Climbers, keepers.
Elaine: You know, Newmie. Um, I know how you feel about me, and I have to tell you, I'm quite flattered.
Newman: You are?
Elaine: Oh, yeah. I mean, of all the men that I know, you're the only one who's held down a steady job for several years.
Newman: Well, it's-it's interesting work, I don't mind it. [Elaine laughs] Don't you have a-a boyfriend? A, uh, burly, athletic type?
Elaine: Uh, don't worry, he's cool.
Newman: Cool?
Elaine: Very cool. So, what do you say? Can you do this one little favor, Newmie?
Newman: Oh, how I've waited for this moment. But alas, my heart belongs to another man's wife, and I have given the coat to her.
Elaine: All right, we're done here.
Newman: For I am in love with Svetlana, and I don't care if the whole world knows, except for Silvio, who would throw me out of the apartment, where I would be dancing on the sidewalk--
Elaine: Thank you, thank you, thank you very much.

Keri: Nice carryall.
Jerry: It's European.
Keri: Do you still have my lipstick?
Jerry: Uh, yeah, I think I do. I can never find anything in here. Ah, here it is. So, that Joe Mayo throws the worst parties, doesn't he? So what was your job?
Keri: My job was to keep you away from the music.
Jerry: What, he doesn't like my taste in music?
Keri: Guess not.
Jerry: You should've been there last year. I got jiggy with it!

Silvio: Svetlana says she find it in the laundry room, but I think it is a gift from that postman agitator. Where is he?
Kramer: Relax, Silvio.
Silvio: No, that's it. You're both out of the building!
Kramer: Oh, come on! Hey, Newman didn't even give her that! No, that's not even a woman's coat. It's a man's!
Silvio: A man's?
Kramer: Yeah.
Silvio: What kind of a man would wear fur?
Kramer: Oh, lots of them.
Silvio: Would you?
Kramer: No.
Silvio: Then who?
Kramer: What about Jerry?
Silvio: Jerry?
Kramer: Yeah, sure, he's a celebrity. Oh, yeah, they wear a lot of furs. They're desperate, insecure people.
Silvio: Yes, you are right. It's all about, me, me, me. Please, look at me! I am so pretty! Love me! Want me!
Kramer: Yeah, something like that.

Jerry: I have to do what?
Kramer: All you have to do is wear the fur so Silvio thinks it's yours.
Jerry: I'm not wearing the fur.
Kramer: Well, then, Newman and I, we get thrown out of the building.
Jerry: Is that right?
Kramer: All right, why don't you just take a good, hard look at what your life will be like if I'm not around?
Jerry: ... Newman, too?
Kramer: Oh, come on, man! Well, I'll tell you what, if you do this, I'll give you that Walkman you're always asking about.
Jerry: That's my Walkman!
Kramer: And you'll get it back.

George: Oh, so now I have to buy this whole chair by myself?
Jerry: No, you don't have to buy anything.
George: I already bought it! I've been lying to you for three days, and now you're all screwing me!
Jerry: I don't understand. Why didn't you tell us you had it?
George: I needed it! My back is... a little tweaked.
Jerry: Because of your giant wallet. Just get rid of it.
George: Never. It is a part of me. I will just return the chair, and it will be easy, because the receipt is in my good friend.
Jerry: Your good friend is morbidly obese.
George: Well, at least, I'm not carrying a purse.
Jerry: It's not a purse. It's European!