Uncle Leo: What are you getting to be too much of a big shot now to give me a call? I don't hear from you anymore.
Jerry: Oh, no. I've been kinda busy. It's all.
Uncle Leo: You know where I just came from? Danny Barma.
Jerry: Oh, sure. Danny.
Uncle Leo: He used to be in the pajama business. I used to be able to get pajamas for free. I used to come over and get pajamas all the time!
Jerry: Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember.
Uncle Leo: The funny thing is: I can't wear 'em. I get too hot. I sleep in my underwear and a t-shirt. If it gets too hot, I just take the t-shirt off! Anyway, Danny says to me, "You need any pajamas?"
Jerry: I-I'm sorry Uncle Leo, I really gotta get going.
Uncle Leo: Oh. Well. You gotta get going, so go.
Jerry: We- We got a big meeting with the president of NBC.
Uncle Leo: Nobody got a gun to your head!
Jerry: Yeah, I'm really sorry, uh.
Uncle Leo: Go. Really. I understand. You got an appointment, go to your appointment.
Jerry: I'm sorry, really.
Uncle Leo: You know, I know plenty of people in Hollywood too!
Jerry: Sorry, really.

George: Look at this.
Jerry: Why didn't you shave this morning?
George: 'Cause I shaved yesterday in the afternoon.
Jerry: Why?
George: Because of the day before. It's a long story. Can't get back on schedule.

Newman: No, no, no. That's not gonna work. Something else.
Kramer: I was never able to become a banker.
Newman: Banker! So you're killing yourself because your dreams of becoming a banker have gone unfulfilled. You- You- You- You can't live without being a banker.
Kramer: Yeah. Yeah, if I can't be banker, I don't wanna live.
Newman: You must be banker.
Kramer: Must be banker.
Newman: Okay, we'll go with the banker story.

Russell: And people really have to care about the characters.
George: Care? Forget about care. Love. They have to love the characters. Otherwise, why would they keep tuning in?
Jerry: Wouldn't tune in.
George: Would they tune in?
Jerry: No tune.
Russell: We like to look at the show as if it were in EKG. You have your highs and your lows. And it goes up and down.
George: The show will be like a heart attack!
Jerry: Just a huge massive coronary.
Russell: So what you said last week about no story, you're a little flexible on that now.
George: Is- Is that what I said, "no story"? Because Jerry had to tell me later.
Jerry: He couldn't believe it.
George: [laughs, snorts] I said, I said, "Get outta here! No story? Is that what I said?" [both laugh]

Receptionist: Mr. Seinfeld, you have a phone call.
Jerry: Phone call? Who knows I'm here? [picks up phone] Hello? Mom? How'd you know I was here? Oh, I was not rude to him. That is baloney. I couldn't talk. I had a meeting! I don't know... he-he went off on something about pajamas.

George: When you sent me the-the bill for the dry-cleaning, I thought the show didn't have a chance.
Susan Ross: Oh, it was only vomit.
George: Anyway, I-I would like to-to pay for the cleaning.
Susan Ross: Oh, no. No, it's okay.
George: No, no, no, we all chipped in. We have the money.
Susan Ross: Well, it was eighteen dollars.
George: Okay, uh, eighteen dollars, and there it is. There you go. So maybe we could get together this weekend.

George: I can't believe she took the money.
Jerry: Why?
George: I offered to pay. She should've said no.
Jerry: She did, you insisted.
George: Maybe this is what the pilot should be about. Vomiting on somebody's vest.
Jerry: Nah!
George: How much are we gonna get for this? Fifty, sixty thousand?
Jerry: Oh, I don't know. I don't know.
George: Oh, gotta get fifty. Gotta get fifty. All right, I tell you what. We go to the coffee shop, you call your manager. Maybe they made an offer.

Jerry: Excuse me, officer. There's a guy outside and he's kind of a nut job and I think he's waiting to beat me up. If you could just walk me outside and wait till I get into a cab.
Police Officer: Yeah, all right. Just let me get a muffin.
Jerry: Thanks. [returns to the booth with George] He's gonna get a muffin and then he'll walk us outside. This is a great way to go through life. Hey, he's looking at the menu now. What's he looking at the menu for?!
George: I thought you said he was gonna get a muffin.
Jerry: [returns to the counter] What are you doing?
Police Officer: What?
Jerry: What, are you ordering food now?
Police Officer: Yeah! Yeah, I decided to get a sandwich.
Jerry: What happened to the muffin?
Police Officer: I got a little hungry.
Jerry: All of a sudden you get hungry?
Police Officer: Yeah! You got a problem with that?
Jerry: No! Enjoy your lunch. You know a muffin can be very filling.

Jerry: He's getting a sandwich now!
George: I thought he was just gonna have a muffin.
Jerry: All of a sudden he gets hungry.
George: You know, a muffin can be very filling.
Jerry: I know!

Newman: Mr. Kramer, you heard the testimony so far. Would you please tell the court in your own words what happened on the afternoon of September 10th?
Kramer: What do you mean "my own words"? Whose words are they gonna be?
Newman: You know what I mean.
Kramer: I was very upset that day.
Newman: And why was that?
Kramer: Would you let me say it? Let me talk!
Newman: All right, all right. Go ahead, go ahead.
Kramer: All right.
Newman: Okay.