George: Who am I going to meet who is better than her? No one, Jerry. No one's better than her.
Jerry: When you were with her you said you couldn't stand her.
George: I loved her!
Jerry: You said going up the steps of her apartment was like being taken to a cell.
George: I would give anything to be going up those stairs again. I gotta call her. Should I call her?

Jerry: What are you doing?
Elaine: Date with Fred.
Jerry: The religious guy?
Elaine: He's not that religious.
Jerry: Let us pray.

Jerry: Kramer, should I call Susan?
Kramer: Now, what does the little man inside you say? See, you gotta listen to the little man.
George: My little man doesn't know.
Kramer: The little man knows all.
George: My little man's an idiot.

Elaine: See, she was clever. You know she put her picture on a card. I should do that. I never do anything like that.
Kramer: You want a picture like that on a Christmas card? I can do that for you. ...
George: She kept such a nice clean apartment. She was so sanitary.
Elaine: No, no, I was just thinking out loud. I don't want my picture on a card.
Kramer: No, no, I'll take your picture. I'll take care of everything.
George: She made a big breakfast every Sunday. I don't know what she put in those eggs.
Kramer: All right, now, you come on over. I'll have my cereal and I'll take your picture.
Elaine: Really? Can you really take a picture?
Jerry: Yeah, he's good. He takes good pictures. He's got equipment over there.
Elaine: All right. [laughs]
Kramer: I don't know about that outfit though.
Elaine: Why? What's wrong with it?
Kramer: Well, we'll have to improvise.

George: [sings] Oh hey, If you happen to see The most beautiful girl Who walked out on me. Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her I need my baby Oh Won't you tell her That I love her. Oh hey...
Jerry: George, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Jerry: So, I'm thinking of putting in an tropical fish tank right here.
Tia: Are you sure you're ready for that kind of commitment?
Jerry: Well, I figure if it doesn't work out I can always flush them down the toilet.
Tia: That's horrible!

Jerry: What's that perfume you're wearing?
Tia: Oh, I completely forgot I want you to see this. The Calvin Klein ad I was telling you about came out today.
Jerry: What is that smell?
Tia: It's here somewhere.
Jerry: It smells like the beach.
Tia: Exactly.
Jerry: Oh, my God. Is that the new perfume?
Tia: Yeah.
Jerry: I can't believe this. My next door neighbor had the idea for this exact perfume last year. He even met with an executive at Calvin Klein. I can't believe they stole his idea.

Elaine: Well, did you notice anything unusual about it?
Kramer: No.
Elaine: Well, come here and take a look.
Kramer: Yeah, so?
Elaine: So, what's that?
Kramer: That's a nipple.
Elaine: Right!
Kramer: Ooh!
Elaine: Oh, great!? Didn't you see that?
Kramer: Oh, no, no I didn't notice it. No, uh...
Elaine: It's because you made me wear that stupid shirt.

Jerry: Well, maybe no one noticed it. You didn't notice it. Let me go get Newman. We'll see if he sees it.
Elaine: No. I don't want him looking.
Jerry: Oh, what's the difference. Everybody else you know has it. [exits]
Elaine: Oh, my God. I sent one to the super in my building. My mailman. My ten-year-old little nephew. Sister Mary Catherine. Father Chelios. Oh, my God, Fred! I sent one to Fred.

Jerry: What? So what? It's a nipple. A little round circular protuberance. What's the big deal? See everybody's got them. See I got them.
Kramer: I got them too.
Jerry: Everybody's got them.