Kruger: Hey, look at George. He's givin' it to T-bone. He's jumpin' up and down like some kind of monkey. Hey, what was the name of that monkey that could read sign language?

George: Okay, everybody, uh, I have an announcement to make. From now on, I will be known as-
Kruger: Koko the monkey.
George: What?
All: [chant] Koko! Koko! Koko! Koko! Koko! Koko! Koko! Koko! Koko! Koko!

Man: Thank you both for being here.
Elaine: Um, excuse me. I live in the building. Did something happen to Mrs. Krantz?
Man: She passed.
Elaine: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Man: Thank you.
Elaine: [stops him as he closes door] Quick question. Did she by any chance have a 212 phone number?

Kramer: Hey, listen, can I borrow your suitcases?
Jerry: Yeah. It's in your closet.
Kramer: No, no, no. I looked.
Jerry: They're behind my skis and my tennis racket.
Kramer: Thanks, buddy.

Kramer: Well, what's the matter?
Jerry: What did I just pay for?
Kramer: Uh-oh. You're a john.

Jerry: Koko?
George: Koko.
Jerry: Well, it's probably the most intelligent ape there is.
George: Yeah.

George: So, how's Cindy the maid?
Jerry: Well, everything's going great except, basically, I'm paying for sex.
George: Tell me about it. I went out with this girl last week. First I had to pay for dinner, then--
Jerry: No, George. She's coming over and not cleaning. It's like I'm seeing a prostitute.
George: How much you pay this maid?
Jerry: 40.
George: 40? I'm paying 60 to my maid. She doesn't do laundry and I'm getting nothing. All right. Once she pinched my ass, but I don't know what that was.
Jerry: I don't know what this is.

George: What happened to Mrs. Krantz?
Jerry: Elaine got a new number because she died.
Kramer: Newman died?
Elaine: What did he say?
Jerry: Some new kind of pie.
George: I'll try a piece.
Kramer: All right, who's down there?
Jerry: Hey, there's a booth.
[As they all get up to move, Kramer finally spots Elaine]
Kramer: Hey, Elaine.
Elaine: Oh, hi.
Kramer: Did you hear about Newman?
Elaine: What?
Kramer: [whimpers]

George: Hey.
Jerry: So how's it goin' at work? They get tired of it?
George: Oh, yeah.
[George unveils a sports jersey with the name "Koko" and number 00]
Jerry: Double zero?
George: It's "ooh" As in "ooh ooh ah ah."

Kramer: Jerry, this relationship is killing me. The distance, the longing, the distance, the... You know, I didn't realize it, but I'm a needy person.
Jerry: Kramer, maybe this relationship isn't for you.
Kramer: Oh, yeah? So what am I supposed to do, be more like you? All sealed up in here, emotionally unavailable, paying scrub women for sexual favors! No! Jerry, I won't be like you! Never! I'll never be like you! [exits]