Cindy: All right, I'm taking off. Aren't you forgetting something?
Jerry: Oh, right! Hey, it was great seeing you again. I love your outfit.
Cindy: No. My money.
Jerry: For what?
Cindy: For my maid services. You booked me for today.
Jerry: But you didn't really do any work.
Cindy: I made the bed.
Jerry: But you took a nap in it.
Cindy: So?
Jerry: I thought that was kind of girlfriend bed making.
Cindy: No. That was the maid.
Jerry: Well, who took the nap?
Cindy: The girlfriend.
Jerry: $40 seems kind of steep for a nap.
Cindy: So, what are you saying? That I'm a bad maid or some kind of a prostitute?
Jerry: Ho, ho, ho. Hold on. Let's keep this sophisticated.
Cindy: You know, I don't think I want to be your girlfriend or your maid.
Jerry: So is this a breakup/quitting?
Cindy: Yeah. Don't ever call me or hire me again.
Jerry: Oh, yeah? Well, then, we're through! And you're fired!

Phoneman #2: Sign here.
Elaine: Yes! 212. Hey, what happened to the guy I had last time?
Phoneman #2: Oh, you know, it's an odd thing. He went out on a job and never came back. Nobody knows what happened. [exits]
Elaine: All right! I am back in the game.
Elaine: [answers phone] Hello?
Boy: Gammy!
Elaine: No. You got the wrong number, kid.
Boy: Gammy Krantz, it's your grandson Bobby. Why haven't you called?
Elaine: Oh, nuts.
Boy: Do you hate me 'cause of my lazy eye?
Elaine: No. It's just that I've been kind of buried over here.

Jerry: So the kid doesn't know his grandmother is dead? G-5?
Elaine: Hit. No. I guess his parents didn't want to tell him. B-2?
Jerry: Miss.
Elaine: He called 6 times yesterday. What a nightmare it must be to have a real family.

Maxwell: You Steinfeld?
Jerry: Yeah.
Maxwell: My name is Maxwell. I'm from Maid To Order. It's a pun. I sent one of my girls over to your place.
Jerry: Cindy.
Maxwell: She says she had a little problem with you. You didn't pay.
Jerry: You know, she didn't really do what she was supposed to do.
Maxwell: Oh, yeah? She told me what you like. You're a little sickie, aren't you? Disinfectant on the blinds, vacuuming the counter--
Jerry: Hey, come on. Come on. I gotta live around here.
Maxwell: You know what I do to people who stiff me on a job?
Jerry: What?
Maxwell: Well, it kinda depends on the situation, but if I don't get my money from you, I'm gonna get it from her.
Jerry: I don't want to make trouble. You want the money? Here.
Maxwell: Hey! Wait, wait, wait! Whoa! Give it to the girl. I'm an independent contractor. Tax purposes.

Jerry: Nexus of the universe. Hey, Cindy. Cindy.
Cindy: What do you want?
Jerry: Here. I got your money.
Cindy: I don't want any money from you.
Jerry: Come on. Take it. It's money. Let me give it to you.
Police Officer: [over bullhorn] Looking for a good time, sir? You wanna step out of the car, sickie?
Jerry: Well, this is all very sophisticated.

Kruger: Hey, Koko, Who's this?
George: This is our new Vice-president of Acquisitions, sir.
Kruger: So you're just hiring new people now? That's your job, to hire people?
George: Yes.
Kruger: Okay, good enough for me, Koko.
Kruger: Now, what's your name?
Coco: My name is Coco. Coco Higgins.
George: Coco?
Kruger: We can't have two Cocos. So I guess you're back to being George.
George: Well, it was a hell of a ride.