Maxwell: Hey, you look a little lost. You from around here?
Kramer: Uh, no.
Maxwell: You know where you're going?
Kramer: Not really. My friend was supposed to pick me up, but I don't know where he is.
Maxwell: Doesn't sound like much of a friend. You got any money?
Kramer: Uh, no.
Maxwell: You wanna make some?
Kramer: Okay.
Maxwell: Do you know how to use a mop wringer?
Kramer: Yeah, yeah.
Maxwell: Why don't you get in the car?
Kramer: [gets in] Hi. Ah, these are soft seats.

Elaine: Why did they hire you for a rodeo?
Jerry: They heard I opened for Kenny Rogers once.
Elaine: Didn't he throw you off a bus in the middle of Alabama?
Jerry: Oh, I had that coming to me.

Elaine: [whispers] Why did you get a maid?
Jerry: You don't have to whisper. She knows she's a maid.
Elaine: Where did you get her?
Jerry: [leans in, talks loudly] I hired her from a service.

Jerry: What?
Elaine: Come on, Jerry. You didn't notice?
Jerry: Notice what? She's not really even a maid.
Elaine: Oh.
Jerry: She wants to be an actress. Or a, uh, model. Or a dancer. Or a news woman.
Elaine: Uh-huh. News woman. Yeah.

Kramer: It's a whole different world downtown. Different Gap, different Tower Records, and she's a 646.
Elaine: What? What is that?
Jerry: That's the new area code. They've run out of 212s, so all the new numbers are 646.
Elaine: I was a 718 when I first moved here. I cried every night.

Elaine: All right. You're fooling around with your maid. That is a wise decision.
Jerry: Elaine, do you think I would go willy-nilly into a situation so obviously fraught with potential complications?
Elaine: You are paying a woman to come to your house and sleep with you.
Jerry: No. I pay her to clean. The rest is--
Elaine: What? A health plan?
Jerry: I was going to say, "Being a good host."

Jerry: But the point is we have our personal relationship, and we have our work relationship. They're separate and, I think, some what sophisticated.
Elaine: So you consider this a relationship?
Jerry: Yes, I do.
Elaine: Oh. Have you been out?
Jerry: Yes, we have.
Elaine: Where did you go?
Jerry: The store.
Elaine: Mm. To get what?
Jerry: Stuff.
Elaine: Cleaning supplies?
Jerry: And gum.
Elaine: Oh. Well, there's nothing more sophisticated than diddling the maid and then chewing some gum.
Jerry: She's not a maid. She might be a news woman!

Jerry: Kramer, you're still on the phone?
Kramer: Madeline and I are watching Quincy together. Jerry, you know this comes on at the same time here as it does there?
Jerry: Really? It's Tuesday here. What day is it there?

Jerry: Hey, T-bone!
George: No. No T-bone.
Jerry: No T-bone?
Kramer: [o.s.] Hey, is that T-bone?!
Jerry: No! There's no T-bone!
Kramer: Well, why no T-bone?!
Jerry: Why no T-bone?
George: 'cause Neil Watkins from accounting is T-bone!

Kramer: Oh, hey, uh, listen, Jerry, uh, laundry's pilin' up there. You might want to tell your girlfriend. Mmm. Yeah.
George: Your girlfriend is doin' your laundry?
Kramer: [o.s.] He's sleeping with his maid!
George: You're sleeping with the maid?
Jerry: Yes.
George: I've done that. Did you ever eat an ostrich burger?
Jerry: No.