George: Maybe I'll go down to the track. Put it all on a horse...
Jerry: Why don't you put it in the bank?
George: The bank? This is found money. I want to parlay it. I wanna make a big score!
Jerry: Oh, you mean you wanna lose it.

Kramer: I can't work with these!
Jerry: What's wrong?
Kramer: Well, you bought me dishwashing gloves. There's no fine touch.
Jerry: You said "gloves".
Kramer: No, no, these are too thick.

Elaine: Listen, Jerry can you do me a favor? Could you go into the room with me to visit him because I don't want him to think that I'm, you know, interested.
Jerry: Oh, you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend.
Elaine: Well...
Jerry: Well, I think I can do that. I believe I've played that role before to some critical acclaim.

Elaine: Roy!
Roy: Elaine! What a surprise.
Elaine: Oh, my God! I hardly recognize you! You look so...
Roy: I've lost some weight.
Elaine: A lot of weight.
Roy: I know.
Elaine: You look terrific.
Roy: Thank you. So do you.
Elaine: This is... [points to Jerry, gets distracted] Uh... you really lost weight.
Roy: Thank you.
Jerry: Jerry, uh, I'm the boyfriend.

Elaine: I can't believe it! You were huge! Like blubber! I couldn't even get my arms around you.
Roy: Yes, I remember.
Elaine: Well, that's the positive thing about getting sick, you get to lose weight.
Roy: Elaine, it wasn't the illness. It was you.
Elaine: Me?
Roy: After you stopped seeing me, I was devastated. I couldn't eat for weeks.
Elaine: Get out! [pushes Roy]
Roy: Really, it's the truth.
Elaine: Jerry, did you hear that? He couldn't eat for weeks.
Jerry: [flatly] That's terrible.
Elaine: I had no idea I had that kind of effect on you.
Roy: You did.

Elaine: Now listen, tell me something. When are you getting out of here?
Roy: Next Thursday.
Elaine: Okay, I'll tell you what. How about on Friday I take you out for a big meal because you are getting too thin.
Jerry: Um, honey. Aren't we going to the Poconos next Friday?
Elaine: No, that's the week after.
Jerry: No, I believe it's next week.
Elaine: You're wrong.
Jerry: No, I'm not.
Elaine: Shut up.

Jerry: In fact, him and Elaine are getting pretty chummy. Now Elaine wants me to buy some of his art.
George: That's nerve.
Jerry: Yeah, so she and "Triangle Boy" can go out to fancy restaurants.
George: You know what it is? It's "Clara Nightingale Syndrome". He falls ill; she falls in love.
Jerry: You mean Florence Nightingale.
George: What'd I say? Clara?
Jerry: Yeah, you must have meant Clara Barton.
George: Clara Barton? What did she do?
Jerry: I'm not sure, but I think she was nice.
George: Susan B. Anthony I think I'd have a problem with.
Jerry: Yeah, I think you would.

George: Mulva!
Jerry: Mulva?

Elaine: Prognosis... negative.
Jerry: Prognosis negative!?
Elaine: He's not doing well, the doctors don't know what it is. They're baffled.
Jerry & Kramer: Oh, my God...
Elaine: Just my luck. You know, just when he's getting thin and attractive.

Elaine: You know, Jerry, you should buy some of his art. That would really lift his spirits.
George: It's that bleak?
Elaine: Mmm... [leaves for the bathroom]
George: You know, if the guy dies, the art could really be worth something.